My counseling session this morning went well. I am learning a lot about myself. This morning we went through the first 3 things on my hubbys list of things I need to change and we talked about how I was doing these things and how I can keep the changes going and improve further because I told my T how nervous I am about moving back in because I am really scared that things will fall back to arguing all the time and being upset and emotionally drained all the time. I feel better now though. I am just going to have to keep giving it 110% everyday. Which at the moment sounds kinda exhausting. But I know it will be worth it and there will be a lot of good memories and good times ahead that will balance out the work.
The job interview was a bust. I don't really even know how to explain it. Lol. It was kinda a group interview and no one else was dressed nice. I was the one who felt out of place in my dressy clothes. The job was something completly different than described on the website I found it on. Crazy. I told them I was not interested in the job and walked out. Waste of time!
Oh well. . .tomorrow is a new day. I am going to go out and finally fill out applications since I will finally have a day all to myself without having any appointments or interviews. Then I am going to happy hour with a co-worker.
My counselor gave me an assignment to sit down with my hubby and have a conversation about the list he gave me and to officially give him my list and really talk over the things we are changing and the things we still need to work on. The conversation should happen before we move in together so we can prep ourselves. She also thinks we should go back to MC once we get settled in or to start going right before we move in so we can really focus on learning to deal with conflict so that things do not spiral out of control again. All good ideas. I will try to get some time to talk about things with hubby. I get so nervous and do not want to spook or overwhelm him but these things are really important. She said that approaching it in a "my counselor gave me this assignment" way would be better than "we need to talk about our relationship" as it is less pressuring and would give it a "team" feel. So we will see. I think I will just tell him about the assignment and then let him take the lead on when and where to have the actual conversation. I will figure it out in the next day or two.
I also want to make a list of goals that I have for myself for the next five years, just broad goals, and show that to him at some point in time and just say "this is what I want in life and I want to make sure that you can support me in these things." I think so often couples, especially young couples, get off track when their goals and life plans go in opposite directions. This is my way of saying I will support you no matter what you want to do or where you want to go in exchange that you support me and encourage me in my personal goals. Things like losing weight, writing my first novel, getting published, buying a house, going back to school, etc. They may not all come true but I think it would provide a very clear picture of what I want my life to be, not that he doesn't already know most of them. I guess it would just feel good to have it in writing to show him.
Sorry if any/all of that seemed like rambling. I just have a lot of thoughts bouncing around inside my head and have not had an outlet today to share them with so I kinda threw it all out on here. Hope it makes sense in some way. Lol.
Well I gotta get to sleep. Long day of job hunting ahead of me!
