Well I've been at the newcomers forum for awhile, you can check that out if you like, or I'll give you the super quick rundown. heres my current situation, I've been seperated for 5 months, haven't had any contact since july 2nd, she wanted to drop off a present for my son. i know w had om when she left, pretty sure hes still around. She cut me off from contact with my 3 stepkids soon after moving out so she has had no reason to keep in contact. I've wanted to call her or something but I know she will just ignore it. The problem I'm having is I filed for a divorce to protect myself and my two biological kids from her weird financial situtation, she stole 2,000 dollars from me back in august among other things. The thing is I really don't want to divorce her but with no contact before I know it I will be divorced and it'll be too late. I feel like if the om werent around she would stop for a sec and ponder what is going on. She met this man at work and I'm pretty sure over time it won't work out, I guess what I'm asking is how can I get back in contact with her to let her know that things haven't gone too far for me yet? The thing is I don't want to sound desperate and bring all this up I just want to talk to her and possibly begin some kind of communication. any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated!
What about an email. Don't say,"I want you back". But, let her know that you loved being with her, and you're thankful that she was a part of your life. Apologize for anything you need to, and ask for her forgiveness. She may respond, she may ignore. But, it's not going to be worse than where you are now. It hard when a OM is involved. She may still be in "honeymoon" mode with him. And, it may take time. Yes, often these relationships don't work out. It takes patience to wait it out.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
well thanks ladybug, I took your advice and texted her, The things you mentioned are the things I thought I would say to her if I talked to her, well anyways I texted her on Sunday, and not surprisingly I haven't heard anything back, I guess there really is nothing more I can do at this point, My lawyer has setup a mediation for November 15th to try and settle a financial issue which I already know is going to be a waste of time. Things move waaay to fast here in Mn, I do wish I wouldn't have filed but I got scared after she took some money from my checking account, I'm trying to look out for my two kids first and foremost. I am really stuck right now, Like I said I know OM is pushing her and making all kinds of promises about how their life will be great together blah blah blah. The surprising thing that really shocked me is that she gave up her kids to their dad, The woman I married would never go weeks at a time without seeing her kids, I'm pretty sure OM had a hand in this decision as well,(disguised as good intentions I'm sure) I realize everyone is different and she is exceptionally stubborn, but after 5 months wouldn't there maybe be a minute of reflection about her activities and some self-doubt? Or is this new life and new guy what she maybe really wants afterall? I have been getting on with my life in all other aspects and don't talk about my sitch with anyone except on here, but I am starting to lose hope and don't even know what I would say if she actually ever did contact me. I know there are plenty of other people on here that are in a similiar sitch, with the divorce being filed and probably final within a month or two, which I don't think is enough time for OM to show his true colors, is there anything else I can do except wait till the end and hope for some shocking revelation falls upon her?
OK I am really confused, anybody got any ideas on this one? I get a text today from wife asking if she can call me, I got back to her about 2 hours later by text and simply said yes, later. I was so shocked I didn't know what else to say, plus I was at work. It's been 4 months and not even a peep from her. Well there was no phone call, so about 9:30 I texted her and said if I didn't hear from her it must not have been anything important and left it at that. She has NO reason to contact me for anything pertaining to our divorce, so what gives with the mystery text and then no call? I got all flooded with emotions instantly(some good, some bad) I don't really think about her daily anymore and now it feels like this one tiny text has set me back a month in my detaching, Is she just screwing with me? what gives? any advice would be appreciated.
well I got a phone call today, she just wanted to know if I'd look into finding a mediator, My lawyer already has this setup, appaprently she's too busy to read her mail. I tell ya it was kind of a letdown, I had about 1000 thoughts running through my head all weekend, but I guess I always knew it wasn't going to be anything more than about money, It makes me upset with myself that I could get this worked up over a stupid text message and voicemail!!!! So I suppose it's back to the no contact thing again until our mediation date, Time to get back on that detaching horse and not fall off this time.
