Mixed Signals or Just My Imagination ?

[native]

Well, I spoke too soon. W freakin' out hardcore about $$$, and made accusations of me lying to her re: how much credit card expenditures would be.

Basically she is paying the mortgage for our house (bank won't let her off the autodraft) until we sell it.

I was going to pay the other expenses we had in common, mainly credit cards.

I had told her the credit cards were about $800/mo. but that there were other expenses we had in common that I did not have figs. for.

Later, I sent her an e-mail with costs of about $1300 ave./mo for me, but she never read it. That would have given her $100/mo.from me.

Then she goes and signs a lease for $800/mo., after I found a place she could have stayed for free.

Then she starts looking to borrow $$ from the State Employees Credit Union to buy a used Beemer. ( @14k)

I am scratching my head and waiting for reality to hit.

Eventually she scraps the idea of buying the beemer.

Well, I had thought I dodged a bullet about the $$ issue after I had given her some ideas on how to squeeze $$ out of her paycheck.

But no. Tonight she accused me of lying to her about the amount of the credit cards, and accused me of gloating about her financial predicament. She can't buy food, pay for rent, gas, electric....etc.....

I offered to transfer $100 immediatly to buy food and reassured her we can work the financial stuff out. She says that reconcilliation is off. I said, I already know that.

She insists I sell the house, right now. At a $35k loss. Which could pay most of our credit card debts off, if we sold it for what it appraises for ( $220K )

I am not willing to shoot myself in the foot financially. There is no payoff for me. She is not saying: I will come back if you do this, or I will be nice if you do this. House is a shambles since she just moved out. Needs some work to show well. If we sell it for $185 we lose $35K equity and retain $40k in credit cards. The credit cards could be mostly wiped out if we could get $220, but that will take more time (Spring) and a lot of cleaning, organizing, and finished projects.

None of which can I expect her to help me with. I have also been working almost every Sat. for the last two months to take care of all our expenses. ( and she accuses me of wanting to work in Saturdays, but in fact I need to make hay while the sun shines in my line of work. I need a vacation !!!!

I actually got up and said the conversation is over if you want to bash and accuse me. Got all the way to the car and she came out, called me back in. I could see how hard it was for her to treat me in a civil manner, but I will not sit there and take her mistreatment anymore. If she chooses to be civil I will stay and talk and we can work out the financial thing.

If she goes crazy and treats me like sh*t I will get up and leave.

Honestly, I don't know the person I am dealing with. Its like an 'alien' or something worse.