My sitch in brief: Married 13 yrs(DD now 15)when WAH suddenly left for OW in 2002, divorce finally spring 2007. He was a particularly nasty midlife crisis alien! I DB'ed to no avail and during all those separation years, I rarely saw a glimpse of the man I once knew. He blamed me for everything and civil conversations were rare. The only time he was remotely human was when he and OW were on the outs. They were mostly on though until last spring. I do believe and he has said that they are finished.
Since breakup with OW he's been a different man. Pleasant, supportive, friendly, flirty, apologetic. We met to discuss DD a few months ago and ended up making out in the parking lot. We've since become friends again - hanging out, going to dinner alone and as a family, sitting around the TV, laughing over happy memories, etc. Not dating exactly though when DD was out of town briefly, we did finally end up in bed together. Lovely but also strange and I think it scared us both!
What we're not doing is talking about our relationship. The only R talk has been a few laughs over "what are we doing?" and a mutual agreement that we don't know! It's as if we're circling each other like wary dogs!
I have been content to test the waters until now but I'm scared of getting hurt again and also scared of "pushing" him for more. I know him well and he will never actively pursue me - he'll wait for me to make any moves. I don't feel like we're dating or moving toward anything though and I'm not sure if I'm ok with this hanging out or whatever we're doing anymore.
Basically, I'm scared. I love him (and he knows this) but I was deeply hurt before. I don't want to hope if there is no hope on his part. I'm afraid to ask because I don't want to pressure him. I need to be true to myself and not sure if I can do that without knowing he at least wants to think about being together in the future.
I'm not sure what I'm asking. Just need some support and maybe some ideas.
