BC, Until she files for D and the D is final.... then when your child is 17 you can file.
Max, I think if I had resolved my feelings much earlier we would have had a better chance of allowing the R to grow stronger. I had a lot of anger. It took me a long time to work that out and during that time I did take out some of it on my H and blame him, and I think this did hurt in the rebuilding. Although, we were both quite young and immature at the time so there were other factors making rebuilding difficult.
I think I also had this some type of misguided assumption that if I warned him about the consequences, or bought it up, maybe it wouldn't happen again.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
