I do not blame myself for our problems. I do believe I honestly played a role in our problems, I stopped being the BBJ that H knew and loved, I stopped being the person I had always been and considered myself to be.....
However, acknowledging that I contributed to marital tension is a big leap from saying it is my fault that H went out all the time without me and chose to get involved with someone else. He is a grown man he could have chosen to talk to me about what was wrong and work to repair our marriage instead of taking it to the point of no return.
I am not saying it is my fault. What I am saying is that pointing a finger at H, glaring, and snapping at him that this is ALL because of him will get me nowhere, other than in Divorce court.
I need to get back to being me b/c I don't really like the me that I am at this point. I am not effective at work (you aren't the only one who struggles at work K!), I am not effective at parenting, I am not focused on taking care of ME, I don't eat right, get enough sleep, etc. I have been letting my own life go off the tracks this past year while I try to put out the fires that keep popping up around me. It is time for a change.........
