Accusing (or even just wanting to know if) the betrayed spouse is also having an affair is very much "script" for wayward spouses. They're more comfortable if they can get the marriage back to some sort of moral equivalency. I hope you had some fun with it and said something like "Oh, I would NEVER do that! I take my wedding vows very seriously," or some such.
As for your original question, "confrontation" and "exposure" are really two different things. It's possible to confront your wife without her affair, without exposing it to anyone else, and I suppose (although I don't know why you'd do this) you could expose her affair to others without ever confronting her. In any event, your header talks about whether or not to EXPOSE, yet your line of questioning seems more to be whether or not to CONFRONT.
As spirited as the debates have been around here regarding EXPOSURE (I'm generally strongly in favor; DB, generally, is not), I don't know why ANYONE would not want to at least CONFRONT their own spouse about their unfaithfulness? I'm sorry if I've missed something here, but why would you NOT want to have an honest conversation with your wife that you know about what she's doing, and let her know that you're not willing to live in an open marriage?
