Hi Pisces & Optimistwife. Thanks so much for your kind words.
I just wanted to update about a BIG ray of sunshine that's come into all this. H and I had an appointment with an amazing neurologist today who was very kind, asked a lot of questions, and gave H a thorough physical examination.
He agrees that it sounds like H has some kind of chemical imbalance, wants him to have an MRI, and wants us to go for couples counseling, recommended an therapist that he thinks is excellent. He said that he thinks we have a strong bond.
I just wanted to hug the doctor after it was all over. I feel such a tremendous amount of relief to have someone, an expert, validate my concerns, and allow me to feel like the weight of recrimination can be lifted off of both my and my H's shoulders. Of course, we're both still responsible for our actions, but we were dealing with health issues that were too big for us to handle alone.
The doctor even told my H that it was normal for people who have a chemical imbalance to blame things outside themselves (i.e., their spouse) when really the problems are internal.
He and I didn't get to talk that much afterwards, cause H had to go to work, but he agreed with pretty much everything the doctor said!
I'm just ecstatically happy and relieved that H might get the help he needs. It probably won't save our M, but that's OK.
Speaking of that, I just got the divorce papers yesterday in the mail. I will look at them today, and if they look OK, will sign them and send them back. H will give me a check, and then I have six months from filing till the big D.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
