My friends, it was good advice that you all gave to me.
I picked up a small pizza and took it over to H's worksite. When I got close I parked, but had to call him because I could see the equipment but not see the guys. They were eating lunch, one of the guys had gone out and picked up pizza! I started to laugh and told him, "Oh, I just picked up a pizza for you." By this time we could see each other, so I hung up the phone and went over to where he was. I had also picked up a bottle of pop for him, and he was happy to have that. The guys all came over to talk to me and H took the pizza to put in his truck. He put the pizza in the cab, and retrieved a huge bunch of catnip that he had bunched together like a bouquet of flowers. One of the guys said "oh yeah, he got here first thing this morning and got this for you. Do you have a cat?" I looked at H and said "there are roots on it, we can plant it." He said, "yes, it was the last of it so I wanted to get you some more." Then he was laughing "it's a pretty good deal, I get pizza and you get catnip." We all talked about the job they were doing for a few minutes and I had to go back to work. He gave me a kiss goodbye and I said "I had a really good time last night, and I'm sorry that you got angry this morning." He kind of cut me off and apoligised over me, said He was sorry he got so mad. Again he said that he wanted me to have this catnip to make up for it. He said that we would put some up to dry where the cat could not get at if. Then he told me he had a hair cut appt. right after work but would be home right after that.
I think that the most positive thing this morning was that I did not react to his ranting and when he got out in the "clear air of normal" he probably felt pretty bad.
Kel, I started to look up about sage smude and it's pretty interesting. I have no problem with ordering some and will keep up my reading. I have two close friends that are Native Michigan Indians and they have always done a lot of things with sages and sweet grasses etc. I went to my first pow-wow this summer and really enjoyed it.
BG, I understand your reaction and hitting him when he called you that. It's not in me any more, but I had that kind of emotional passion in me once apon a time. I don't blame you, it's an ugly word. Somehow, when H used it this morning it was so childish and out of place I almost laughed. I was also around the corner and in the next room, so I just had this mental image of him standing in his underwear, halfway thru shaving and having his temper tantrum. I'm going to try and keep up with this type of mental immagery.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
