I follow your sitch but not sure if I have posted to you.. I totally totally understand your position over hte finances and not wanting to be one of those woman that bleeds her H dry, or even takes whats legally yours. I have had so many people tell me to take half of his house, because legally, it is half mine and my name is on it, so by law I am entitled, but I would never ever do that. His father left him that house in his will, its his, its his inheritance and I dont want it, morally it would be wrong and it would leave me feeling like one of those woman you describe. I am amazed at the number of people that state I should take it, but I wouldnt. I know you have kids, but as long as you are provided for, I understand your POV totally.
As for the D... it seems it goes against every fibre of your being right now, morally, spiritually, your H is not in a calm place, he's angry, shouty, all over the map.. you know what they say to us all here, dont make decisions or react with emotion, noone ever made a good decision in that frame of mind.. so can you apply that to your H and slow things down for him? I know he cant see the wood for the trees right now, but I sort of dont get the rush, unless you want to just let him sort the D out (and then, like the pastor says, dont fight it) which isnt the same as YOU sorting it out.
I'd just step back, let him rent a place and live with the temporary solution of your kids hanging out there, it wont be forever and its likely to only be for one or two days every week or two, judging by the level of access men seem to get with their kids? You could make the caveat that it has to be a smart rental in a good neighbourhood, even if its small?
Thinking of you, your sitch blew up like a whirlwind didnt it...
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
