Trying2Live-New Post #2

[Trying2live]

AAW8,
I can see how yes your self worth could be affected by the lack of feed back. I thought of this, men love when they can see that we are enjoying ourselves, so possibly another way you might be able to look at this is, hey it's great to ask, oh do you like this or that, but since he's power tripping to help out his ego, just enjoy yourself and get that performance pressure off yourself. He may like it better that you are enjoying your self and if he doesn't who cares you had a great time! LOL

I can def hear that you H has some self esteem issues himself. And that's a bunch of crap that you should know everyone else does LMAO LMAO! Hello everyone is different, and what 1 person may like another may not and that's what communication is for. It's like he needed to put that dig into you for some reason. He may in his eyes view you as successful and him self as not.

Hey I see nothing wrong with the note you put in the pocket. I sent my H a dirty text which he thought was funny at 1st until he didn't know who sent it to me. LOL Then he says I thought you didn't like those, I respond how would you know you never sent me any. Stay on your with witty responses.

I think he's thinking about the note. You can always say something like, well life's too short to not flirt and besides I did think you were Hot I just thought you should know and walk off laughing. My H last weekend tried to engage me in a debate, I didn't respond. I also have pre-set answers that I can shoot out if I can't figure out what to say. Remember H's can engage in negative things to meet emotional needs. If they argue with us it can still meet an emotional need and in their mind justify their actions. Anyways my preset answers are, "awe you're funny" and I walk away laughing or "awweeeee" and walk off laughing.
YES! Go to the dance class, I'm glad your thinking about it.

Concentrate on you! GAL find that dance class. I think all things are possible with God, but I really feel you need to get your self in a strong position of self worth, regardless of what feedback he gives. H can sense this area that is not strengthened and it's like he goes right for it. Having you in such a place of confidence and self worth he won't know where to go at you.

This book is solution based, so I really hear you want to be more out going. What is 1 thing you can do in the next week that can get you closer to that person you already see yourself as? Find 1 thing and do it. This is GAL'ing and 180'ing. There is no time like the present! Don't wait, you've waited long enough. This is the season for you, a lot of attention has been put on H and it sounds like for a while and he feeds on that. I think he even creates interactions to get it. Have you got the Surviving An Affair book yet? IT talks a lot about emotional needs. Yes you want to meet them but in a positive way and H is stuck in a pattern of getting them met negatively. Get the book if you can.

Remember H is in the fog, you are correct about how much to listen to and to not listen to. Water off a ducks back. If you don't know how to respond, laugh and say awe your funny and walk away.

Don't worry about the horoscopes, seek God and find out his perspective for your life. He puts it inside each of our hearts and all we need to do is follow what we see in our hearts. So you see God wants you more outgoing and confident He put that picture of it in your heart. He'll get you there if you step out and do it! He is well able to do that if you step out in faith and give him something to work with, make sense? Time for you and it's not selfish.
Don't worry about what the parents think. I'm sure they love their daughter unconditionally and that's not a weight for you to bare right now. Its very sweet of you to be concerned about your parents, but can you see how your putting yourself in a 2nd position here too? I in no means be a poop head but it's time for you to care for yourself and value your self and all the other pieces will fall into place better.

Agenda, find 1 thing you can do to get to that place you see yourself as more outgoing, laugh laugh laugh, have preset answer if H tries to engage, be flirty-I'm proud of you, you did something different and that's what matters not what his response was-keep it up, pamper yourself- go get manicure or pedicure, massage, different hair style etc. Ya know what I did to feel pretty and girly is I went and bought undies at Fredrick's, You don't need a man to be next to you to be able to do this, start building your self up. Positions of confidence and strength are sexy and attractive, and I don't mean domineering. Can you do some of these things over the next week?