I think it was flirting you mentioned before. But anyway 15 years together with W and I've still got a lot to learn cos I can flirt with her but I honestly I couldn't tell you what really turns her on, what really is her thing and she's probably waiting for me to discover it naturally in my own time. The DAM in me still has a long way to go in that area, still has a lot to learn. 40+ and still clueless is that a sad admission ?
I was reading back on my older piecing threads looking for my posts about my wedding ring. One thing that did jump out at me was my pursuit of W, seems quite obsessive at times but it does shows I care, probably more scared of losing her which in turn may spark some of her negative reactions. So I need to throttle back, cool my ardour, and try to find the true romantic in me.
Anyway the real reason for this post is about the wedding ring, I think I've posted earlier that I decided that I wouldn't wear my old Wedding ring again cos it symbolised my old M which W had disregarded and where I had been badly hurt. But I turned the whole thing on its head in my mind and thought that by me not wearing my ring it was showing W that I wasn't fully committed and was holding onto past events. Me not wearing the ring was a constant reminder to her that she had cheated and too be honest I think that was the effect I was trying to achieve. I think it was reading that last post from Rob that prompted me to think I need to let go of some things which I've been holding onto, cos in hindsight the not wearing the ring is a constant reminder to me that W had cheated, and as it says in my title I should be moving forward and not looking back, so I need to live up to that.
Well I've dug out my ring, it still fits, so I am gonna start wearing it, no grand gestures just put it on and get on with it. Once its on I hope there's gonna be no rings on, rings off hokey cokey, put it on and stick it on. Also I just felt a drop in the level of hurt that I feel and I'm ready to put it back on so that must be a good thing.
Yep I know where you are comming from with the "ring thing"..
I too took mine off for a while and yes like you it was to prove a point to my wife about the affair. To Show the hurt she caused. I did place it where wife saw it and left it there for a few weeks. So I did prove my point but It also had the oposite affect on ME. It was a sign to myself that I gave up. I didn't want to go out GALing and have a wedding ring on.. I mean come on...How can ya flirt wearing that....Ok the OM had his on with my wife but I am not that kind of guy... Anyway I caught myself slipping away and put the ring back on. IT felt good... and it also showed wife that I was still there. it was not too late.
You are doing good, keep it up big guy...life is too short to sweat the little things......
Dr LOve..........
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
