I can understand you don't want to be me, divorced. Heck, I don't want to be me either! \:\) But do you want to be YOU a year from now?

Annabelle is MUCH nicer than me in trying to point out things to you. lol

TOH you aren't doing everything the board says. Many of us say to NOT have sex with your husband. To be gone when he is around. To make plans for yourself. To not answer HIS calls to you. You are picking and choosing what you are changing. And what you have changed, he hasn't noticed.

Don't get me wrong, you have changed so much. But be very very careful that you are being honest with yourself. Honest about feeling used, and feeling ok after sex. Honest about not caring what he does, honest about your actual feelings 'as if' when he is around. Its a tricky business, being honest with yourself. I used to tell myself all the time I was fine having sex with H, that I was fulfilling MY needs as well, but guess what? I wasn't fine with it. My xH would take his pants off right now if I asked him to (still asks me for it all the time), but I know I can't. It hurts more than it feels good. Make sense?

Sara on these boards (she is reconciled with her H) always says "There is nothing wrong with having sex with your husband/wife", but she always adds "if you are emotionally ok with it". Make sure you are. Sometimes in a relationship the closeness of sex brings a spouse around. I don't think this is the case with you. What else can you try?