Is this a mid-life crisis?

[Dawn of Hope]

Beth,
Sorry you have cause to be here, but glad you found the board.

I want to clarify something Sanderika said (not to speak for her, but to give my interpretation of what she was talking about).

I want you to realize that our sitches do not always turn out the way we want them to. Mine did not turn out the way I wanted at all. We have no control over how it will play out.

This board and site exist because MWD believes that one person's efforts can save a marriage. We only have control over ourselves, not our S's (or kids, or anyone else). However, if you try a different approach, you just might get a different response. The trouble is that the approaches that come naturally to a person in a sitch like ours--well, they will get a response, all right, but we won't like it. It is necessary to just about turn yourself inside out, and in many ways do exactly the opposite of what you feel like doing with regard to your H, before you have much of a chance at all of saving your M. And you have to keep it up for longer than you ever thought possible.

Read and reread DR. Check out all the resources on this board and site. Read other people's threads (and post to them, that helps them be aware you are there and start posting to you).

I hope your H is not having an affair. Sadly, most of the M's on this board involve at least one.

Anything your H has complained about, try to fix if you think it will make you a better person--not for him, that's the beneficial side effect. Try as best you can to GAL. Be careful that whoever you talk to about all this is loyal to you and will not betray your discussions to your H.

There's probably more I could tell you, but I'm falling asleep just typing, so I think it's time for me to quit!

Blessings and peace,
Dawn