BA, Has your H been evaluated by a doctor for depression? A lot of what he says sounds like me when I don't have ADs working for me(not all...for example, I'm not a liar or a cheat). I am an officially diagnosed suicidal depressive, with a history of it going back to age 13. I couldn't ever bring myself to seek treatment for it until H broke down in tears and begged me to do something to get help for it because he couldn't take it any more (this was back in 2001). I had always felt that I should be able to handle it myself by just trying to grow a new attitude...after 22 years of that not working, duh!
I'm not sure what to say about your proposed new approach. It has a lot to recommend it, but at the same time, is it possible he will feel like you are punishing him for doing the right thing (coming back home)? I don't know, maybe someone else has a more definitive idea about this. I think I might be too tired to give coherent advice right now, sorry.
Take care of yourself, BA.
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
