Trying2Live-New Post #2

[Trying2live]

Hello friend, I am sorry I missed you I was at church til late.

Ok 1st thing {{breathe}} Next thing, I want you to forgive yourself, its no big deal. Yes you spoke the truth but remember they can't hear most of what you are saying through the fog. You are NOT a disappointment to the board, this is why we are here for each other. It's really no big deal. I am in no means perfect nor do I want to be because then I would not need God's grace. You're ok, capiche?

I think the ethics thing is great, I really wish you could blow the whole thing open, but I understand the circumstances. But I wonder how much she would want to be with him if everyone is looking at her like a home wrecker. I hate the fact she banks on you not doing anything to expose or bust the fantasy. We gotta figure out something to pass it around the office. Talk is talk, shoot give me a phone number I'll call and spread the rumor. LOL


D15 is fine. She is old enough to have her feelings and express them and this is what he needs to hear from her. Sometimes they can hear just a tiny bit more from the fog when their children say things to them, not a lot more just a bit. These are the repercussions that he needs to feel and bare. My DD17 did the same thing and I did not stop her. You see walkaways think ok I'll tell everyone, they will be mad for a little and then everyone will be fine. But it doesn't happen like that. It leaves a huge path of destruction. so if he's hurting because of DD15 oh well, he needs to feel some pain somewhere for the fog to lift. DD17 will go through the natural course and she has a good mom. Just keep communicating.

All is not lost, if you decide that you still want the marriage. No one is perfect and pain sometimes causes everyone to freak out. The great thing about all of us is God let's us choose what it is we want. The bible grants divorce for 2 reasons adultery and abuse. I think the greatest hope is that we all give it a shot, so that in the end IF it just doesn't work we can go forward with clear conscience. And if it does then great because then a testimony is born. So my friend you have a choice, the ball is in your court I believe what ever all of us wants at this point God is ok with it no condemnation.

If you still want your marriage, then FORGIVE your self for not being perfect and pick your self up and keep going. That simple. Remember when I did that in Sept. and asked hubby where the wh*re was and acted like and idiot. Well as soon as I hit my car I felt conviction(NOT CONDEMNATION) and I sent him a text apologizing for my bad behavior and also sent an email to be sure he got it. Guess what, he apologized too. Its whatever you want and I support it either way, but if you still want marriage then get up quickly, dust your self off and start going.

Well girls guess what tomorrow is. October 23rd, I made it to my mini goal of fighting for my marriage of 6 months. I made it to 6 months you guys! I know it sounds silly but when I was at 3 months I didn't see myself being able to have made it this long with out getting a divorce. I am to say the least proud of myself and proud of the personal growth I am experiencing daily. For all of us this is a time to grow personally if we can see the opportunity of it. That's the purpose of the 180 and GAL. I never really saw myself being able to live without my H right by my side, but I am. I am still living and little bits of joy have returned. My son's therapist said that everyone goes through adjustment disorders. That's what a lot of us are going through. But understand this, this time is an opportunity. What opportunity? To grow, to become strong, to change some bad habits, mindsets and attitudes that maybe we may not have ever done had this not happened to us, but now we have to deal with them. When we go through things God uses it, and we are in the refiners fire and all the chaff is being burned up and purified and all that will be left is the gold. I love personal growth, its painful but the results are beautiful. This is why I want and all of us to concentrate on ourselves too. Not just H.
Ok Hope if you need anything holler. Let me know what you decide on doing I support any of your choices.

I'm loving the ethics thing! work that angle and don't give her an inch! She needs to have another perspective. Personally I might go to her face and say you've got 2 options, dump the H or I may go to superiors or tell everyone in this office. Put a lil Italian fear in her.
Ok you guys, Hope needs a creative way to spread this through the office with out it looking like her.
The beauty of it is if it gets passed around on a sheet of paper just dropped on several desks it won't look like you and you can play stupid. Even if they are questioned they can deny it and you can play stupid or act devastated. Do you know where this woman's family lives? Can you send a letter to her parents?