Trying2Live-New Post #2

[Trying2live]

Ok 1st off, your not going to hell. The bible says that Christ is the way to Heaven right? Or does it say be good and do the right thing and you'll go to heaven? NO it does not. Love Christ acept him in your heart, this is the only ways to Heaven. Bible says we are saved by grace and by works. So please, everyone stop being perfect and just be yourselves and love God. Jesus paid the price for your past present and future sins so don't worry about it. It makes walking with God so much easier and enjoyable.

Ok your right the gym thing is a part of personal health, at least to me, it should be apart of everyday life for longevity purposes. IT also burns off stress.

If at any time you feel that I am being to personal or have crossed any line, I sincerely apologize in advance and I hope you will tell me and I promise to back off.(I am an associate Pastor and have lil bits of opportunities to help out so I wanna see where your coming from)
Sounds like you struggle with fear a little? Is that correct?
Or possibly low self worth? I think your H can feel this or reads into this the way you respond or interact.
I understand about the sex thing. Here's my transparency to all my girls on this thread. Ok I had some minor sexual issues because of my childhood. I was molested as a child and so had the wrong perspective on Sex. Now i did enjoy it but my down fall was I never initiated sex, I feel bad as I'm sure that put a dent in mY H's ego. But i never ever turned him down, so he could have sex when he wanted. Anyways there is much to over come in that. So don't beat your self up.
I think as you grow and become more confident and have high self worth this is going to become irresistible and attractive prob more so than the dressing up, although that is not a bad thing to implement as well. I think GAL is going to break some fears for you. Try something creative as I mentioned to Marisol, something that is going to challenge you-NOT skill wise but in confidence. you gotta do it afraid and as you do your going to grow. Diamonds take tremendous heat to become the beautiful diamonds that they are. I think personally a dance class of your choosing might be the thing that you may be able to boost your self worth and confidence and maybe even free you up in the bed room. Hey I'm looking at belly dancing next!So what do you girls think?
YOUR QUESTIONS:
Messed up I know. I know where I failed and am trying to work on those things.
I don't believe in failure just learning, we only fail if we give up and you have not given up on yourself. So don't worry about it.

*Brushed things under the rug - avoid conflict didn't want to be controlling in certain ways but the irony is I was in others.
Wow this is good, I did the same thing, so were learning balance. I used to be about 14 years ago a rage a holic and controller, man none of ya'll would have been my friends, but then Christ came into my life and I started to get my heart healed and grew as a person. But funny thing since being a rage a holic and controller truly was not me I went far to the other way where I was afraid to say much, so now I'm learning balance as a person and to learn when to and when not to. Your right on track so no worries ok!


*Did everything myself - didn't ask for help
Now your plugged in with the coaching and with us here, so this is awesome you reaching out, it feels good huh. This is where maybe the fear and low self worth didn't allow you to reach out to others. If you don't value yourself then its hard to reach out because how we see ourselves is how we think others see us and its not true.

*Controlled sex so much I didn't / couldn't enjoy still don't know how - this will take a while to figure out.
I understand this as in the past I had much to overcome because of the molestation that occurred and the many fears I had. But this is where I think a creative GAL like a dance class is going to pull that part out of you and may transfer to bedroom and hopefully really to life. Sounds like you really haven't been living. I don't mean go nuts and head to the clubs and start dating either. I mean just enjoying and living life, does that make sense? Your gonna grow in this, no matter the outcome YOU decide you want. Time for you to start living and being free in your own skin, time for a new day for you. Lucky you, it gets to start now.

*Didn't talk to anyone in public - not bubbly friendly.
Well you go girl, you started here that took courage and I applaud you! Now with the dance class, this may help you start to interact with people. Is this something you've always long for, to be more outgoing? That's kinda just popped in my head, if I'm wrong just ditch it. LOL Well I really think this is a sad time yes but do you think that God can use a bad thing and grow you as a person and maybe that person you always longed to be. And H's definitely gonna need to see that person. Its already inside you, it just needs to be brought out.

So your 1st things is to GAL!!!!!!!!

Have you read Surviving An Affair by Dr. Willard Harley? Go get this book, I know girls you are all laughing at me right now, but it has a lot of information on adulterers. I personally would not be comfortable with reconciling with H until there was a solid plan in effect and a no contact with OW. A lot of this is covered in that book as well.
Ok ya'll I'm totally gonna stop blabbing, gotta get ready for church anyways...be back later, kinda late for you east coaster.
XOXO