I think that since my sitch involves so much infidelity on her part that I am going to start a thread here before my thread in Newcomer's locks. Here are the links to my previous threads:
Brief overview, My W is a recovering alcoholic that attempted suicide before rehab. She's had multiple OMs before, during, and after rehab.
Briefly separated in April after one A. Had 3 OMs in Sept. On Sept. 15 she said that she wanted out. I let her go. Only she hasn't exactly left. She's been coming and going as she sees fit. I have seen a L and am ready to put him on retainer after I clear out financial issues to include a most likely BK filing. She still plans on moving out; but I doubt it.
So, I'm more than convinced now more than ever that she is only interested in staying here until she can find someone she can snare into taking her in.
I found her profile on ehar&*(y. She is lying again to try and hook up with a man. She is selling herself out as something she's not. She has the audacity to say that she hates liars and anyone lying to her doesn't stand a chance; but she's lying about her education, the fact that she's NOT single, and a few other things. This kind of stuff just makes me want to puke. And quit. But I can't, I've got responsibilities and she doesn't for the most part.
To me right now, it almost seems an impossible task to get through to her. I know that it's about bettering me; but tonight it feels like I'm up against a wall that is too hard to climb out. What really gets me are these things: she describes that she wants a man at least 3 inches taller than me. In the past she has put me down for being shorter than her when she wears heels; so I guess that means she can no longer be in love with me. Another thing is why won't she just end it before moving on with another man?
I've been having good days mixed with bad days. I want to do the Love Dare; but I have no idea how it will be received given the current situation with her searching love as a "single" gal online. She sure seems hellbent on finding someone else. There are times that I want her to leave so I can find peace in all of this. But she won't leave, she doesn't have the money to leave. I guess there will come a time when the person/s she hooks up with will figure out that she's been lying and I'm sure that won't be pretty. But I can hold out hope for that.
She wears her rings sometimes; sometimes she doesn't. I think she does it around me to give me false hope that she still wants the M. And she will if she can't convince anyone to take her. I've thought about blocking dating sites on my network; but I would rather that she live out this fantasy to see how it pans out. She's going to be in contact with men who are not going to be happy that she's misled them. They've paid good money to find a loving partner and the one that finds her is going to get more than she bargained for.
So, I've got to get the BK rolling so that I can file for D if I need to. I don't want to; but I've got to protect my children.
In the meantime, I'm still going to review my goals, chart my progress, and continue working on GAL. The latter is tough with me taking on the primary responsibility of taking care of the kids. I've left in God's hands and so for that fact I won't meddle in her affairs. She's on her own for that.
Thanks. I think I'll stay here in Infidelity. I need the help that you guys can give me.
my wife changed her myspace profile to say divorced last week sometime.....somebody fill me in on a secret?!? I had enough myself and officially "filed" last week. She gave me some papers at the beginning of October and said "sign these or I will make you out to be a child molester". I sat on them for a couple weeks....my L said I could burn them....my papers are for me to have full custody and the standard stuff.
Bros b4 Hoes.....LOL!
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
I like your pants around your feet And I like the dirt that's on your knees And I like the way you still say please While you're looking up at me You're like my favorite damn disease
And I love the places that we go And I love the people that you know And I love the way you can't say no Too many long lines in a row I love the powder on your nose
And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why)
I like the freckles on your chest And I like the way you like me best And I like the way you're not impressed While you put me to the test I like the white stains on your dress
And I love the way you pass the check And I love the good times that you wreck And I love your lack of self-respect While you passed out on the deck I love my hands around your neck
And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) (Why not before, you never tried) (Gone for good, and this is it)
I like your pants around your feet And I like the dirt that's on your knees And I like the way you still say please While you're looking up at me You're like my favourite damn disease
And I hate the places that we go And I hate the people that you know And I hate the way you can't say no Too many long lines in a row I hate the powder on your nose
And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) (Why not before, you never tried) (Gone for good, and this is it)
Kinda describes my M from beginning to now. Only substitute the lines for bottles.
Yeah, she's been that way for a while. I think even her Mom's IC has stated that she is emotionally stunted at 12 yrs old or something to that effect. I've tried so many times to let her know that I love her unconditionally and that I would be there for here in whatever endeavor she chooses. I've only wanted to her to know that I wanted her to be able to work out her issues and I wouldn't go anywhere. Sometimes I wonder if that's the problem. Sometimes she says things that hint at she's not deserving of the love I give her.
Thanks for stopping by BW. I'm not going to leave Newcomer's altogether; I'll probably just post most of my stuff over here from now on.
Yeah, she's been that way for a while. I think even her Mom's IC has stated that she is emotionally stunted at 12 yrs old or something to that effect. I've tried so many times to let her know that I love her unconditionally and that I would be there for here in whatever endeavor she chooses. I've only wanted to her to know that I wanted her to be able to work out her issues and I wouldn't go anywhere. Sometimes I wonder if that's the problem. Sometimes she says things that hint at she's not deserving of the love I give her.
Thanks for stopping by BW. I'm not going to leave Newcomer's altogether; I'll probably just post most of my stuff over here from now on.
I think I've mentioned that before. As selfish as she's acting, I still think maybe she hates herself...damaged goods. But I'm not a professional, so I should probably shut up now!
