WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice II

[thrillisgone]

LD - You're putting alot of pressure on yourself. Perhaps too much. Much of my research on MLC backs the thinking that her actions in crisis aren't about the marriage,you or the relationship......it is about her! The positive changes you've made are great. Again, she needs to run through this journey and it will be at her own pace that she reaches the end of the tunnel, no matter what you do.

What I realized with my ExW was that any relationship talks pushed her farther away. Other people talking to her about the relationship pushed her away. That my efforts were for me and for positive changes and support IF she came back. AND she knows me. She knew I wouldn't cheat on her, leave her or shirk my responsibilities once she left. That gave her all she needed to continue on her journey. Continue she did. She is deep in MLC and I wouldn't expect to see any changes out of her in the next 18 months to 5 years if ever

No matter what happened in your marriage her actions were unjustified ( unless she was in danger physically or emotionally from abuse) which is not the case here.

You haven't let go and it is obvious to her. Once you truly do let go, you both will feel it. You need to understand, you can not fix her and you can not fix this. All you can do is let go and carry on with life. When she knows the gig is up, THAT might actually stimulate some thought on her part. People want what they can not have. She knows that she could have you anytime. She reads right through the BS. The second she thinks she doesn't, she will reflect on all of this. AND still there will be along ways to go.