Ok - As the S who had the A ,I had to, and still occasionally have to, listen to H say everything you are saying. It may of helped him but it did nothing for me. It is crushing. We are not stupid, we know what we have done and what we have given up, but what we struggle to understand is the depth of the hurt we have inflicted. I am sorry but it is really really hard to feel something you have never experianced. Given time though the remorsefulness will shine through.
If you are hammering on about it, how can you put it behind you? When can you both relax and start building happy times again?
How long do you think you are going to need to keep on about it?
She cannot relax in your company , if her defences are up. Once you stop perhaps she will have a chance to self reflect and really feel the pain and remorse.
I was being sarcastic , sorry, when I said, do you say it nicely. There is no nice way.
You cannot improve your situation until you are ready to forgive and let it go.
