It's funny that you made love with him in that frame of mind.
Yes i have moments when I forget - well its hard to forget. i have been sharing a bed for close to 22 years. It certainly is something I have vowed and declared never to do again outside of a committed relationship. I don't mean with H - even if we are not in a committed R it feels right.
Yes - I will take it as a positive interaction . HaHa
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I don't wish a shock for her.
Any major change not considered, is a shock and you know what , i think like the failing heart , a shock can be a good thing. Dont under estimate its value and don't over estimate possible consequences.
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It isn't going to be "fair" to either of us. I won't be paying for her forever.
Why don't you see it as being possible to be fair. If she would agree to talk with you , surely you could come to fair arrangements. ( Talking to you being the problem - I know )I understand if you have to leave all the important decisions up to a judge to decide, then it will not be fair. Gosh even I feel like giving your W a shake.
I am not a religious person - in that I don't go to church but I do believe in spiritual greatness. With this comes the belief that none of us are given anything we cannot handle, we are given things for a reason and the universe had this road mapped out for us from day 1.
We just have to see where it will all lead us. I feel within myself changes which do make me a better person. If I needed to go through this in order to achieve this, then maybe so be it.
But I like you , will wait. I do find that if I think of H as just another person , then my expectations of him cease, I get less emotional, less angry and am quite nice to him without that needy edge.
