Starting from scratch

[daybyday]

just journaling a bit. just when i start to get a little down or start a pity party for myself, wife does something spontaneous. called me at work, asked me if i wanted to meet for lunch. we used to do this quite often in earlier years of m. not a grand gesture but ever so appreciated by me. my w is a figure competitor. this is bodybuilding without big muscles. its all about getting lean and showing muscle that you have. its not my cup of tea. imo kind of narcissistic, but i have been supportive of her since march. she has a comp. this weekend, then one in two weeks. then she says she is done. i hope that is the case because she is on the strictist of diets, works out 6 days a week and is always tired. our saturday morning are taken with her workouts. i do go occasionally and work out with her but sometimes feel like a 3rd wheel because her trainer is there also. any way, just looking forward to a long break from this training. on top of all her training and diet, she still doesnt have a job. she stayed home with son for 5 years and is just now actively pursuing job. somtimes my resentment creeps in because i have to go to work and she stays home. but, she still contributes to the running of household. probably more than i realize. anyway i am very happy she is back although she never physically left. just mentally checked out. i need work on gal, and 180's. i'll keep pluggin along.