Quote: How do you get H to recognize the need to have the affirmations - fill the love tank, without making it an obligation forced upon him? I really think my H just thinks I am to forget anything ever happened.
a difficult task no doubt. it is possible though if not presented in a needy manner or with making reference to the sit. I did explain the love bank concept to h...simply explained it...noted what I thought his ll's were and what I believe mine are. did not demand or even request that he "fill my tank" but simply made him aware of such a concept and it's correlation to positive feelings in a r. seems to have worked but like anything needs tweeking that does not come in the form of nagging or demanding etc.
and alternative to explaining the ll concept is to "catch them doing right" in other words when you catch h doing something you like or that makes you feel reasured or affirmed let him know..thank him...tell him "I like when you" "I appreciate when you" "it makes me feel good when you". using such statements may have more of an impact than simply explaining the concept or trying to get him to give you what you want...essentially by using possitive reinforcement you will be guiding him toward giving you what you need. hopefully.
