WAW Won't Communicate At All

[cotoffgard]

Hey SG71. So sorry to hear about the turn of events. I'm not going to pontificate about why you should or shouldn't feel hopeless. The sitch sux for sure. Don't fight it...feel it...get it all out of your system.

I've got two suggestions:

• Try and separate the D process from your DB process. D is nothing more than business...period. Protect yourself and your interests as best as you and your L can. There are no emotions in the act of divorcing, just a bunch of negotiations and paper-pushing. It's how you react to the D process that can increase or lessen your odds at successfully busting this D.
• Get your mind off of this D. The more you obsess over it, the worse it becomes. Take a long walk to somewhere (or nowhere!)...hit the gym...go out with friends...anything to occupy the time you spend fretting over your sitch. Minimize the time you spend magnifying the issue lest you risk starting a fire you can't put out.

I'm not sure how others here on this board would feel about this, but what if you wrote an apology letter? My therapist and a few people on this board thought it was a good idea for me to send my WAW one. I'm not sure what effect this might have since my WAW didn't respond to the email, but sometimes the most powerful thing you can say to someone is "I am sorry", especially if you've never been the one to capitulate in an argument. Think of it as a 180 if you will. Be warned, however, that you need to carefully craft your apology letter in a manner where it doesn't come off as pursuing. Neither should it be a letter explaining why you did what you did...just a heartfelt apology and validation of the hurt she's feeling.

Here's the final version of my apology letter (I think) if you're curious. In time the anxiety and frustration will subside, and it definitely helps if you do things to reward yourself for being courageous and strong through this entire ordeal. Hang in there buddy!