Is this a mid-life crisis?

[Sanderika]

Hello Bettou,

I'm Sanderika...I would like you to read some of my previous threads. Your sitch sounds a lot like mine. To find them click on my name and view my story. I have posted pretty much the whole story. Sadly though my H was having an affair. I hope yours is not.

My H left me over 38 months ago...H just filed for a D on 10/7/08. With that being said, you will learn a lot about a MLC from reading other peoples sitches. Knowledge is power. You need to know how to approach your H, there are good things you can do and bad things you can do. Avoid the bad things.

It sounds to me that your H is in a MLC. I want you to realize that our sitches do not always turn out the way we want them to. Mine did not turn out the way I wanted at all. We have no control over how it will play out. You need to let your H work through his feelings on his own in his own time. You need to have more patience for him than you ever thought imagineable. This will be one of the hardest most painful journeys you will ever encounter. I do not want to come off as sounding extreme. I have been through h*ll with my H in his MLC.
I do not wish this for anyone. Read and Read and Read....gain all the information you can. I wish I had found this board back in August of '05 when this began, my marriage would have stood more of a chance. There are a lot of good people here and the advice is right on. I want to caution you to have NO EXPECTATIONS. I did and it doesn't do a bit of good. I didn't find this board until June of '08. OW he is with isn't letting go of him. I hope for your sake there isn't another woman. It makes the sitch more difficult.

My H and I have become friends and that is all good for now. Do I still have hope? Yes, but I have no expectations anymore.

Bettou, please read all you can. Do not share with your H what you are learning. Your H will not agree with you and you will only push him further away. If you do not see immediate results with people on here sending you replies, don't give up. Keep posting, sometimes it takes a while to be noticed.

A friend who cares,

Sanderika