Why cant I just get to a point where I can hate X??
I think my love language is acts of service b/c whenever X does things for me, ie, fix things especially w/out complaining and out of his free will and happily so.....I just melt.....
Last nite he spent his entire time (weekly visit) fixing the girls tv (once more). He attempted to fix it w/out the tv techs help as I was on hold for the dishnetwork's tech. Then the tech went thru the steps w/ us as I was telling X what to do.
X was obviously very tired from work. I was appreciative. SO much so I wanted him physically...I know bad, bad me. I dont know if he could tell, but when it was time for him to leave, I ducked out of his way, hoping he wouldnt notice the look on my face & just say goodbye to only the girls.So, I went to the back patio to finish some laundry and he followed me there saying what r u doing, Im leaving...UGH.
I know and I dont want us back together, we both still have alot of growing to do & I dont want more of his controlling ways.
It doesnt help that D11 told me that daddy told them not to say anything to me or OW, but he showed them where he wanted to live (apart) from OW & asked them what they thought if he lived there by himself.
He really does need that down time alone from me and from OW. D11 wants so badly for him to be away frm OW. She cant stand to be over there on his weekends, says she doesnt like OW daughter and wishes daddy lived alone so it can be just the four of them.
