The way forward, well I've tried to talk to W about sex but she say I'm killing the enjoyment by discussing things, she wants things to happen naturally, and if she falls asleep well there's another day. That sounds ok but in the past another day has been another year for me, so natuarally my programmed response is grab it while you can.
For some reason we are on different levels in this area and I'm not sure how to get us back to how normal couples should be (can anyone tell me what normal is).
So going back to the way forward, I don't know, I haven't a clue should I now be over in the SSM forum ?
Hi Lan,
Here's my advice. (Note, I'm farther along than you with my W, but still battle many of the same issues. FWIW.) Take W at her word. She says she wants it to happen "naturally", right?
It seems to me you are approaching ML too much as A Big Event. While Big Events are nice every once in a while, that doesn't have to be the way it always works. Some drawbacks of Big Events:
Big Events do NOT happen often
Big Events take lots of work to plan and pull off
Big Events have lots of expectations tied to them, which (as you are demonstrating) leads to disappointment when they don't happen
Instead of shooting for The Big Event ML, how about just making being flirty and suggestive more of a regular everyday occurrence? I'm not saying initiate every day of the week, but maybe just make that undercurrent of "I want you", "You are desirable", etc. more of joyful, regular part of your daily life? I could be reading into it, but maybe that's what W is saying when she says "let it happen naturally."
Does that make any sense to you?
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
