H in MLC 3

[AliSuddenly]

Hey there,

Same here.. I have been on the MLC board all year, but only just saw your posts. Post to others and offer advice, thats how you get it back at ya. I agree.. DO NOT TELL HIM anything. Thats you trying to control a situation from the outside. It will backfire on you. Be very careful who yuo do speak to or spread gossip too, ONLY talk to people loyal to you and who you know wont betray your thoughts to your H.

Your H is being rather cruel in talking sometimes on the phone, but ignoring you in public.. he is trying to make a stand. It is also very childish that he would say "you had your chance, you took me for granted" and thats why he ran off with OW. What I see on these boards is that alot of these WAS and men are like this - non communicative, we were blindsided, didnt realise how unhappy they were. How can we have fixed things, had a healthy R or been aware of neverlone attending to their needs, if they didnt TALK TO US???? THats why we are all here, desperately trying to fix something, after the horse has bolted, so to speak.

I still cry alot too, I was earlier and last night, you are not alone in that! Its frustrating, its so hard, its horrible to feel alone whilst they are in a new R... but thats not healthy is it. Who walks out of a 20 year R straight into a new one, with no time in between on their own to find out who you are and wht you really want? Its weak. Its filling a gap in them, its externalising changes, instead of growing and maturing on the inside. Maybe its a male thing.

All you can do.. is get yourself together. Make sure you look good, eat well. Try and start a new hobby, dont try phoning/texting again.... you did that and got A response, but not the response you were looking for. I think in a way it is good that you said your piece, at least you know you did tell him that you still love him and would try again. Theres no need to tell him again, he will remember that you said it.

I agree the OW sounds awful, as so many of them do. My ex has hooked up with someone that his own best friend described to me as a "f*cking b*tch" - that is not a good endorsement! My counsellor said, whatever they look like on the outside, its not the reason they have gone for that person, its how that person makes THEM feel.. they like their status better with them, they can be a new person and feel important again.

Your H is 43 and this has been going on for a year.. that means he has been in his Uranus half return (takes 84 years to go around your birthchart). Basically, astrologers call that, the mid life crisis.. and Uranus things CAN make you throw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak, in your rush to change things. It isnt always for the best and may require more changes later on. Theres no way of telling if they will stay together for years, but looking at her track record and how they got together, its not looking too hopeful is it?

Like Dawn and me and all of us here, try and hold your head up high and know that there was nothing you could have done to prevent this and its likely you cant do anything to change it now. People take a long time to process things and reflect back, I know myself I have done - a couple of years maybe. THen you can look back and go "OMG, I cant believe I behaved like THAT".

Ali x