Ok, the woman is a nutcase.... Nothing more to say. You are a lucky guy Rob. Remember my words when you hold a real nice woman in your hands that loves you trully and deeply.
Dont write her a letter. It would serve no purpose. She isnt able to understand or feel anything.
About the L, I just hope it wasn't arranged so in case you punched the new guy he would be used somehow. I would expect anything from her. Seriously. Keep your guard up. Love K
Rob, I soooo agree with Kalni!! Your XW is not to be trusted in any way. She has lead you on so many times and then accused you of horrible things. She was busy having a relationship with apartment guy , during the divorce proceedings. Not normal. You stick to the letter of the law with the visitation and divorce agreement. You tried to be nice and reasonable many times , but it did no good. I would be very very suspicious about her divorce L being there when you met OM. It was absurd for her to have you meet him in front of D. Your XW sounds totally self absorbed. Be on guard and discuss only details for the time being . Somehow. I have a feeling you will be seeing more of your D than you think. Especially when it gives her a night alone with OM.
I'm pretty sure the meeting was by coincidence b/c XW has been bringing OM to the restaurant for the drop off each week. This is the 1st time I've met him, but he's been there in a booth so I'm pretty sure it is a coincidence. Actually, D and I were early, so we arrived before XW and OM did. They were surprised to see us there before them - because I'm "always" late, remember?
So, I still don't trust her as far as I can throw her and now that she's only about 115, I'd bet I could chuck her pretty far.
Yes, I agree that XW is nuts. Not only is she a few fries short of a Happy Meal, she's also missing two Chicken McNuggets and her box doesn't come w/ a toy.
I don't trust her and I'm staying as consistent as I can. If she offers up D for me to have her (like she's doing tomorrow so I can take her to dinner w/ me as I'll be on that side of town), I'll take it, but I won't be amending our times together for XW's sake. I'll take more time - and I hope you are right to say I'll get to see her more and more as time goes by - but I'll be sticking to the legal agreement.
If she did set it up for her divorce L to be there, I'm glad she did b/c he was able to witness the same exact exchange that has always existed - one w/ ZERO conflict from me.
Anyway, I'm still documenting things "just in case" b/c I really can't trust anything XW says or does.
Yes, I agree that XW is nuts. Not only is she a few fries short of a Happy Meal, she's also missing two Chicken McNuggets and her box doesn't come w/ a toy.
That's funny.
Good idea to stick to the agreement. Take more time if she offers, but never give any up. That agreement may be unfair, but it also protects you from some of XW's insanity.
As for me, bizarre, I'll find someone else. I know I'll move forward and someone, the right one, will be out there for me. I'm going to be picky and move slowly, but I'll be looking around.
Yo Refuse2...
Ya... hang in there and right one will come along. I say that sincerely. It may sound shallow and empty.
Be picky.... there are a lot of psycho-chicks out there (sorry ladies, there are psycho-dudes too). Lots of emotional road-kill out there too. Then again, that is what I was when I commenced dating again. But thats ok. Gotta jump in the game.
My suggestion.... get out there and make some mistakes. It will help you find what you really want. You probably have a better idea of that than you once did now that a D is behind you.
I can say sincerely, I would not pick one like my X again. Details unimportant but suffice it to say, I chose an entirely different woman this time around.
It does get better my friend. I aint that many steps ahead of you in the recovery and remarriage thing. My D was final beginning of 05. I remarried end of 07.
I haven't been around much, but with this cast of new and old characters you have assembled here, there seems to be much fun either happening or about to happen. As long as you continue to have room for one more around here I will try to keep up the visits. I'll be praying for you, G, and XW. Peace to you all.
Nut - the sad fact is, I'm serious about her Happy Meal order. She is a zoo.
As for not trusting her, I don't. I won't be giving away any of my time w/out compensation of time in return. Tonight I sent her a text asking about her decision on my seeing D tomorrow after her conference and when I called tonight to talk w/ D we discussed it.
She said she'd talked to her L and he advised her not to give me too much b/c I can take her back to court and use it against her. I told her I'm planning on working w/ the agreement for a year and wouldn't plan to do any evaluating until then. I told her there are a lot of things we both can do concerning custody and the courts at a later date. I then said:
Quote:
it is up to you if you want me to have dinner w/ her tomorrow. She is on your time and it really boils down to what you are comfortable with doing. I appreciate the offer, but if it doesn't work for you, that is fine and you have that right b/c she's on your time tomorrow.
XW then said D may not go to school b/c she threw up and followed that up w/ a discussion of the various restaurants in the area. I told her to let me know as the decision of whether or not I'm w/ D tomorrow really means I either leave school at 2:45 if I'm to get her or 3:00 if I'm just going to the conference.
So, as usual, who really knows?
Concerning the pension, I'm going to submit our stuff later this week and I'm hoping this will work out in my favor. It would be nice to have ONE card go my way in this game.
We did decide to have them evaluated and then negotiate a buy out for the person who is scheduled to get more. I'm praying it is me and even though it is a bit childish on my part, I do want it to sting a little bit. It is revenge, but I'm allowed to be a bit human, right?
Thanks for coming by. I am starting that process right now. I'm talking w/ ladies and have had a couple of dates. Thus far, they are both nice, but they just don't have enough to make me want to see them long-term. I'm really going to be picky about everything this time around. I'm in no rush, nor do I need to be.
I like your story and its happy ending. My XW also is the reason our M split apart, but she won't admit it. I'm beginning to care less and less as the days tick off, so I know I'm healing and moving forward.
As for a repeat performance, it won't happen. I've already had this conversation w/ my C, so we're on it this time. In fact, if it feels really, really comfortable that will trigger me to look deeper b/c it could be comfortable b/c it is a similar, needy person that I've sought out in the past.
So, I'll be careful mainly b/c I've got time and I'm in no rush.
I do hope I'll hear from you again. I'm encouraged by your story adn would like to hear your input on my progress as well.
