Shoot, I forgot the glass. That would have been fun to watch!!! It went ok though; she gave me a list of 6 or 7 things to do and then called me when I got home and asked me to do something else!!! She said she doesn't know if they will get it done by the end of the year as my H is hoping. I said I wouldn't mind getting it wrapped up by the end of the year either! At this point, it's just an extra stress I think. I probably will have about the same amount of money I do now I would think, and hopefully H will stop running up the credit cards b/c I'm hoping he'll be responsible for them (since they are his and his name on them). And hopefully he will also be less inclined to yell at me or whatever, and I will def. be more inclined to ask him to leave!
One good thing apparently the mediator my L is picking (from a list of names from H's L) has a wife that homeschools, she says he's young but can get firm (which I think will be needed with delusional H). So I'm psyched about that!!! Karen
At least your L is supporting that. Mine was like that is going to cost you another blah, blah, blah so you probably don't want to do that. The L kept saying how great my then H was being, letting me have everything, the kids, the financials. Well ex certainly was in the deep fog when he agreed to all the financials because he isn't doing so great with all of that now.
It would be so much easier if I didn't have to see him and deal with his whoa is me campaign. Maybe someday.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Well ex certainly was in the deep fog when he agreed to all the financials because he isn't doing so great with all of that now.
It would be so much easier if I didn't have to see him and deal with his whoa is me campaign. Maybe someday.
kat
My stbx is going to be in the same shape financially I think. He thinks they will let him keep most of his salary and have me work full-time which I just don't think will happen although I could be wrong of course!!!
Do you have to deal with his whoa is me? I mean can't you just cut him off somehow or say that's his problem or his responsibility now not yours, like Good luck with that? I mean I know I'm naive, but that's kind of what I'm planning on doing when I start hearing it from my H next year!!! Karen
Oh I do throw a huge dart at the space right between his eyes and let him know that this is what he wanted and agreed to, that I don't have any extra money to "save' him and even if I did I wouldn't because this is what he wanted. He doesn't like to hear that. I wonder why??NOT!
Ok mostly I just say I can't help him with that. Short and to the point. He is just so used to me fixing everything and "saving" him when he has problems. That isn't my job anymore. I was fired/I quit pretty much at the same time.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Ok, today I think I get about a C grade in my DBing, oh maybe a D if you're a tough grader (which I'm not). The thing I did which in retrospect should not have done (always think of this stuff after!!!) was H emailed me he didn't see my email yesterday re: calling the kids and he forgot and he was sorry. He also called and left a message for D8 with an apology for her. I emailed back to H it was fine, D8 and I were playing Monopoly last night so he shouldn't worry. I know I shouldn't have done that but left him feel consequences for screwing up!!! Then he called D8 back and she told him it was fine too (wonder where she learned that from???).
I maybe screwed up just a tiny bit tonight when I went to the drugstore tonight had to get S14 some medicine--he's in the thick of the flu. I was buying M&Ms for the everyone and D8 said well Dad likes Snickers, so I bought one for him. I mean screw it, but I'm a nice person, and if I hadn't bought it I would have felt guilty for not getting it for days, so whatever!
The good thing I did was I handled a # we had with the house insurance today. They were threatening to cancel our policy for owing them $12. The bills are getting forwarded to H so I didn't know until he called me he got a bill late yesterday saying they were going to cancel us. I called and got that straightened out, paid it, and got them to start emailing me the bills so won't happen again. I emailed H I handled the problem, no worry for him. During the past 18 years I always let H handle stuff like that, problems with bills or whatever, thinking he could handle stuff so much better than me, but I'm really proud now to be handling stuff (I know it wasn't that big a deal), but I've found I'm perfectly good at it, too!
I talked to H for a minute when I came back from the store, was polite and friendly as was he. Then I went upstairs to work out for an hour. So feel free to tell me how much I screwed up today!!! Well tomorrow is another day right??? Karen
I do stuff like that all the time, karen. And I'll probably do it again. Just like the book I just bought for her. It's just who we are. We do things out of the kindness of our hearts. It's ok. I do it and never expect anything in return. It's just what I've always done. Thought about her. I always got something for her before I got something for myself.
I can't remember. It was maybe a few weeks ago, I got her fave candy bar while I was at the store buying something. Something I had to get for her. I left it in the bag at her apartment with out saying anything.
So don't beat yourself up about it.
And great job on handling the bill. It may not have been a big job, but you took care of it. You can do so much more than you believe you can, sometimes. You can do things just as good as he can. Your learning.
I'm proud of you.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
I wanted to share this with you. They are lessons us LBS can take with us:
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man / woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER:
WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
You are such a sweet and wonderful person that I wanted to share some positive energy your way. Buying a candy bar for your ExH is the right thing to do because it is who you are. Never change.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
