I think so. With all the bad, i at least see the real good in me. the person i was wasn't so far away. Sorry I left, glad to be back. I know you are pro marriage, otherwise i wouldn't be talking to you so much. She was here tonight. I told my D i would be home at 6 and when I got here she was here. Ignored her, stayed very cool to her. Made dinner and went on with my projects. She vistied with my S, D, her brother, my D in law and my grandson. She definitely is getting lonely. You can see it. My kids acknowledged that she doesn't have anything and she knows they are always here. Kind of sad, but makes me feel good, I have everything she doesn't. funny thing was, didn't really know how much I had 3 months ago.
I do think long and hard about how long I will last, how much I can take, how long I will wait for her ride to end. Scary to think how far I have come in such a short time as Sandi and Amy have pointed out. I do wish everything worked on my clock, what a great thing that would be, but it doesn't. I am in sprint to get over my final hurdles and yet continue on the marathon for my R/M. I looked at her tonight. the wrinkles around her eyes and on her face. She is aging, this situation is not being kind to her. She looks around and sees the fun, the comrodery of my family with me. she sees the gathering. And she is not part of it. She asked my son and his family to visit her place and see the puppies across the way. My son told her mayb, but he won't. He told me he doesn't want to see "her" place. If it isn't here with me, then he won't acknowledge it. I am not going to defend her and her position. She talked to a friend of ours on the phone and has plans to go to a concert this weekend with OM, obviously. Oh well. Went about my business, never said goodbye to her, i think she said goodbye to me, but I am not sure. I feel stronger when I am most defiant to her. Thanks for keeping on with me. all of you. I need the support now. I have finished the first three rounds of this fight and believe I am ahead on points. Unfortunately this is a fight to the finish, I need to pace myself and not get over powering too early. I need to make it to the end. I need to see the final outcome. I need to know, with all my heart, that I gave it everything I had, there is no way I can lose unless I give up.
