Thats what I keep telling myself - it's not over until it's over. It just amazes me that she would want to throw this all away without giving the marriage a second chance.
Thats what I keep telling myself - it's not over until it's over. It just amazes me that she would want to throw this all away without giving the marriage a second chance.
Join the club.
Divorce is not death and time heals all wounds.
Work on you, detach, and practice patience.
Maybe one day they will want to give us another chance, but we can't live the rest of our lives waiting for the phone to ring.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
I know exactly what you're feeling seaglass. I am in a very similar situation. The feeling of not knowing is driving me crazy too. Moving on is the hard part. It might take a while, but eventually we'll get it. But eventually, it won't hurt so much, and perhaps then there might be some peace.
Thanks Niemand. I know I can't try to rationalize her thoughts but I just don't understand how two people can divorce without even having a discussion or any communication at all. That's the kicker.
SG71, I saw something somewhere in the forums that a good first response from your atty is to file a motion to abate and request court-ordered counseling. I'm not an atty but I saw that somewhere and you might run it past yours. Also, waiting til last moment to respond sounds like a good idea.
((seaglass)) Sounds like you fired the first C and found one that is a better fit? I am curious about something you said earlier, that your W had been in IC for the last year. Is it possible she suspected something was up (before she actually started snooping) and was getting her own act together? You don't talk much about the years before you were involved with online communications w/ OW. What were you missing (think Love Languages) that caused you to look outside the M in the first place? What happened to make W suspicious? Did you have large blocks of time you couldn't account for? Is her LL quality time? See where I'm going? I've been in counseling, both MC and IC for a long time. We went to one MC for 11 years! (Ok, he wasn't all that good and ended up divorcing himself...but that's another story). Several years ago, a C told me that it is not unusual for a WAW to spend up to a year planning her exit strategy. I'd never heard of such an idea. When I walked last year, it was very sudden. Now I'm home, and planning to walk again. I've decided I'm finally done, this M is beyond hope. Keep posting. We are here for you, whatever happens in your sitch. Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
Hey there Goldeylox, I'm actually still with the first C. I've resolved to not let him push me into giving up. She had been going to her IC for the past year to work on many childhood issues that she had(s) - but with that being said anything is possible. I didn't get the vibe from her that something was up. There was a distance in the last few months that had come up but that was due to work related stress. The online communications had been few and far between the last few months. I wasn't chatting with these other women. It was emails that were going back and forth. I truly believe that the online activity was an escape from reality. Not necessarily from my wife. I've NEVER had any ill feelings towards my wife. I enjoy the time I spend with her. I wish we could spend more to be honest. I think the distance between us made her start to think that I was having an affair. I imagine that's why she scheduled an appointment for us with an MC. Unfortunately she reached her boiling point a few days before we were scheduled to go.
