Good for you, Cinders. What a person you are, worrying about the OW's feelings. They are YOUR inlaws, though. Your h is a foolish man, not seeing the kind of person you are.
So long sad times Go long bad times We are rid of you at last Howdy gay times Cloudy gray times You are now a thing of the past Happy days are here again The skies above are clear again So let's sing a song of cheer again Happy days are here again Altogether shout it now There's no one Who can doubt it now So let's tell the world about it now Happy days are here again Your cares and troubles are gone There'll be no more from now on From now on ... Happy days are here again The skies above are clear again So, Let's sing a song of cheer again Happy times Happy nights Happy days Are here again!
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Weird day...I have been running around, helped the vet clean our dogs teath whilst he was under annesthetics..that was exciting and fun. Then took some time with a dear friend. Picked kids up from school and then the dog again, as he was awake.
Took the kids to hockey practice...and that's where a story came out.
This woman that knows my H too...and knows a little about our situation, came up to me, she told me how wonderful she thinks I am and how kind and cute and pure (blah blah... I'm not very good at taking compliments...) Anyway...she told me that she and her friend had been at a party and seen H with his ow. She told me her friend is a psycho therapist and that she had said to H...'I bet your girlfriend is jealous...I bet if you dance with me, she will be here within 3 minutes !' H told her that ow was not jealous at all...(right ...) and so they started dancing..yep in 3 minutes the ow was there by H's side !! This woman told me this story because she wanted me to feel good, and I admit, it kind of tickled my interest.
BUT !!!!!!!!!!!
I found out that it didn't matter to me, anymore. I was at peace inside, nothing hurt when she told me, nothing was shocked or excited. I just listened as if she was telling me a gossip about someone I know...
WEIRD HUH !?!
Oh well, just wanted to share that with you all.
And by the way, I think H is coming along to dinner tomorrow night, with me and his parents. That will be nice for his parents...I'm sure it comforts them that we get along together.
Take care xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
...This woman that knows my H too...and knows a little about our situation, came up to me, she told me how wonderful she thinks I am and how kind and cute and pure (blah blah... I'm not very good at taking compliments...) Anyway...she told me that she and her friend had been at a party and seen H with his ow. She told me her friend is a psycho therapist and that she had said to H...'I bet your girlfriend is jealous...I bet if you dance with me, she will be here within 3 minutes !' H told her that ow was not jealous at all...(right ...) and so they started dancing..yep in 3 minutes the ow was there by H's side !! This woman told me this story because she wanted me to feel good, and I admit, it kind of tickled my interest.
BUT !!!!!!!!!!!
I found out that it didn't matter to me, anymore. I was at peace inside, nothing hurt when she told me, nothing was shocked or excited. I just listened as if she was telling me a gossip about someone I know...
I am proud of you Cinders.
I don't want to change how you are handling news such as that because you are doing incredible. So when I add the following comments, I am making an observation only.
If the OW is the jealous type, this will eventually grow old for your H. Even if it doesn't, the OW doesn't trust their relationship. If they had love, she would not be jealous unless he has given her reason to be so. When the infatuation wears off (as I believe that these cases are infatuation and not love), she will become bored with H or H will become bored with her. I believe it is inevitable.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
It's weird but it kind of feels 'mean' of me, to be going out to dinner with my inlaws and H, whilst ow is not invited, yet a part of H's life by now.
It is a most strange situation I must admit.
It is almost like your H has two lives.
I would imagine OW is not at all happy about it. (I know I wouldn’t be). But then when you have dalliances with other people’s husbands you do kind of deserve all you get.
So, nope, don’t waste energy on feeling sorry for her ..
Pity you can’t get her to babysit being as she is so keen to play mummy to your children..
Nutty x
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
When I was thinking of the OW and her twisted sense of jealousy, I remembered the lyrics to a song by Sugarland (which made me change my opinion of the group when I heard it):
Stay I've been sittin' here stairin' at the clock on the wall And I've been layin' here prayin' Prayin' she won't call It's just another call from home and you'll get it and be gone and I'll be cryin'
And I'll be beggin' you baby Beg you not to leave But I'll be left here waitin' My Heart on my sleave Oh for the next time we'll be here seems like a million years and I think I'm dyin'
What so I have to do to make you see She can't love you like me
Why don't you stay I'm down on my knees I'm so tired of bein' lonely Don't I give you what you need When she calls you to go There's one thing you should know We don't have to live this way Baby, why don't you stay
You keep tellin' me baby There will come a time When you will lieave her arms And forever be in mine But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like bein' used and I'm tired of waitin' It's too much pain to have to bare to love a man you have to share
Why don't you stay I'm down on my knees I'm so tired of bein' lonely Don't I give you what you need When she calls you to go There's one thing you should know We don't have to live this way Baby, why don't you stay
I can't take it any longer but my will is gettin' stronger And I think I know just what I have to do I know just what I have to do I can't waste another minute After all that I've put in it I've given you my best Why does she get the best of you
So next time you find wou wanna leave her bed for mine
Why don't you stay I'm up off my knees I'm so tired of bein' lonely You can't give me what I need When she begs you not to go There's one thing you should know I don't have to live this way
Baby why don't you stay
It bothered me so much that they would make a song about the OW in a sympathetic manner I ended up sending them an e-mail stating my disappointment. I was contacted by their business manager telling me that there are always two sides to every issue and I should show compassion for the OW.
I do have compassion but for how wrong they are and how much they are hurting themselves and others.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Pity you can’t get her to babysit being as she is so keen to play mummy to your children..
You know at first I thought she would...you see, the kids are supposed to be at H's that night, but he said his parents would probably want to see the kids, so if it wouldn't be better if they stayed home with me...
Guess she didn't feel like babysitting...
And yes I agree with you Nutty, I wouldn't like this all at all, if I was in her shoes,....then again, I will never put myself in her shoes. I guess it comes with what and who she choose.
I do hope that the conversation will be either about FIL's health issues, and not about H telling his parents that we are no longer a couple and all...then again, I don't think I mind even that. After all, we are not a couple.
Anyway, I'm still doing good and it feels nice to be able to take some 'blows' without it affecting me, the way it did...
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Wouldn't that be nice 