Back to life, back to reality?

[istherehope]

Hi OD,

Thanks. It's weird he's not home yet, but my guess is he is hanging out with this friend (male) that he's obsessed with. It's 10 PM, and I expected him home an hour ago. He is just really doing everything in his power to show me how little the M matters to him.

Nice battle-fueled language anyway :).

I think I will just go to bed and maybe be asleep when he gets home. Thing is that H was never this negative. All along he's said he wanted to try, and suddenly this. I feel like somehow I pushed him to this by being such a cheerleader for the marriage...

Even my last reply to him was full of why marriage matters etc. Ugh. I am not sure how to turn this around now. Suddenly it is as if I am absolutely nothing to H, whereas until yesterday, there was at least friendliness and affection. In fact earlier when he called, it was friendly and nice, and now I am not sure why he called at all. I think he is just so worried about my feelings. It sort of sickens me.

Alright, not trying to be super-positive then, will just be polite and casual when H finally makes it home.

Really not sure how much more of this I will be able to take...

ITH