WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice II

[thrillisgone]

LD - You love your W and I truly understand that. Boy do I understand that.

It would appear that your W has a long ways to go in this. At some point she has to have some degree of clarity in her thinking in order for this to have any chance of resolution. How long that takes is anyones guess. Are you willing to continue like this for 2-5 years? Most LBSs are not. Lets face it, you'll love her 5 years from now but what you had, you will never have again. If you achieve resolution what you will have will be very different. She will be different. You will be different. Your relationship will be different. That can be good or bad. There are no crystal balls here.

I would take a firm line on this. DBing is good for you. I'm not terribly convinced it will have any bearing on her if she is in MLC. Pre crisis or mid life transition yes but MLC.....a big maybe.

At some point you're gonna get real tired of this and justifiably so. You have alot of choices to make. Put hope and emotion on a shelf for just a minute and look at this objectively.

My situation was starkly different from yours in that my ExW made alot of the decisions by filing for the D and while she did disappear for weeks at a time, seemingly halting the process she ultimately pushed it through. I got alot of conflicting signals in that she drank herself to sleep at night,seemed confused, depressed and it was like she didn't want the D but realized she had dug herself a huge hole. The OM also I believe was pressing the issue because he is a financial retard and wanted to get into our life savings. Hell my W cleaned out her share before the ink was dry. Yet when I saw her she looked like a rag doll and hugged me crying. Yet through all of this she is the one who filed and pushed the D through, not me.

So it was easier for me. You my friend have to make some tough decisions. Whatever you decide though, we're with you. If I seem to have an edge it is because I'm in your corner and want you to come out whole no matter what happens.