For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
((((((Snow))))))
A few months after my Husband left, and after I was done blaming him and started to take notice of some of the things he said, I saw myself for what I was and it was ugly.
For years and years I carried around the baggage of my past. My anger, my self righteousness, my judgemental attitude and many many more things that I just don't have the time to list.
My Husband had told me for years that I was a fighter. What he never really understood about me was that I lived in survival mode. Nothing came easy for me, and I felt I had to fight for my rights.
One day, during my purging period, I asked God to show me if the things that I had been told by my Husband were true, and if they were, to help me to become the Woman of God I was destined to be.
I swear to you, this is exactly what the Lord told me....
" BND, Yes you are a fighter, and this is how I created you. But as my Daughter, you are also a Princess, and to be a prize fighter you need to have a manager. I am going to manage your fights, but you have to trust me".
From that moment on, although my life was totally falling apart, my Husband was gone, I had no money, no income, and eight children to care for, I began to change, and I stopped so much of the bad behavior.
I learned how to be still and to sit in the Refiner's Fire. And even though nobody in my life except the people on this board, here in Cyber Space suported me, I learned exactly what it meant to be a Stander.
Snow, it is hard work, as you already know. And there are no guarantees for anyone. But in my mind, I already made the decision that my Marriage was worth fighting for, even if my Husband was acting like a schmuck.
I wanted a better Marriage then I had before, and made the changes that needed to be made for myself. I got to a point that I was happy, and I was living my life, not just existing.
I think that my Husband noticed the changes just from my voice, because when he would call, I did not sound sad and depressed anymore. I was upbeat and jolly.
Thank you for sharing, I am very proud of the humility you have, and the faith you exhibit.
(((((((hugs))))))
BND XXX
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
