Hope, Thanks for your reply. Yes, I know, probably too nice but it doesnt mean it is not sincere - I just didnt show my other side as well.
Funny, I noticed mostly couples in the theatre as well. I think I was the only single. I was so emotional I was almost the last persont to finally get up and leave the theatre. Yet Id go back and see it again and again.
Im glad your oldest D is checking on you. Are either of your Ds warming up to H at all? Part of me wants my kids to be angry and cold toward H b/c I want him to see how this is effecting them. But that is selfish on my part. Maybe the more pleasant they are with him the more he'll want to be around them and us as a family. He took twins shopping to buy Halloween costumes this weekend and took D11 to volleyball practice. This was all my suggestion to him last week. He had said to me "hey , you need to take twins out to get their costumes - Ill pay half whatever it is". It made me mad inside and I politely said "well I thought you could do that this year since I am working on Halloween and they will be with you anyway." Just like he says "you need to get D11 to a doctor" (when she had horrible meltdown last week). I said "yes WE need to take her to a doctor or T". I know Ive been very co-dependent over the years. I thought I had to do everything for everybody. I was stressed, unable to relax, exhausted and as a result, depressed. I dont want to be encouraged to continue that behavior by H expecting me to do it. But I did thank H for doing those things (and remembering your suggestion) I said,"The twins are really excited" He looks at me kind of surprised and asked "they are!?" and I said "yes, and remember S11 soccer games on Thursdays after school - he will be happy to have you there" H says "I plan to be at all of them" So it has always been my intention to encourage my children's love and respect for their father, but how they feel is up to them. Sometimes you just want everyone to side with you 100% b/c you feel so wronged.
OK, Divorce Care group. The new church I am attending will be starting a group like that in Feb. I plan to attend (although things could be different then). I am not attending b/c I am giving in , but b/c this particular group ( I dont know if all groups are the same) does encourage reconcilliation if possible. I have spoken with the H/W team who will be leading the group and Ive made it clear to them just b/c I attend doesnt mean Im giving up. I want my marriage if at all possible. They understood, and said that side of the coin would be addressed. Plus I need all the support I can get, so Im going to be open -minded to it even if the name of the group implies D is the only option. Maybe you could attend just one or two meeting and see what you think? I admire you for standing for your M. I love that I am not alone in this thinking, b/c there are some family and friends who feel otherwise, and it is discouraging to my faith. One day at a time, girl.
