I think I may belong here.

[kelaaron]

Well guys, maybe someone can give me an opinion here. After our nice day yesterday, H and I ended up having sex. Sort of wierdly initiated by him but he knew i was open to the idea. It was very interesting to say the least.

This morning I start getting text messages from H actually telling me how he feels. No connection, sex was nice but it was just sex and even though he is a man that bothers him. He is angry with himself. Last one was along the lines of trying to be friend and good father, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I told him I was sorry he was angry but I don't regret ever being with him. I understood that he was sharing with me. No reply to last one as I just don't know what to say. I would love to tell him what is wrong. I would love to tell him that he just needs to undo RCI. I would love to tell him that he has turned me into OW. I would love to tell him I love you and it's ok. But I KNOW I can't tell him any of that. So I just haven't replied anymore. If I dared to tell him MLC, he would just think I was crazy. If I dared to tell him you have shut off your heart, he would get mad. I just don't know what to do.

I guess I should be grateful for the small things like he is talking to me. I guess I should be grateful because he is looking for the connection with me and feels badly because it isn't there (cuz he wasn't really with me). I guess I should be grateful that he is trying to be my friend. I am grateful for all of those things. I just wish to God that I could heal him.

Lord, I pray that you will send your healing and comfort to my husband and help him through this very rough time he is going through. Thank you for all of your blessings.