Trying2Live-New Post #2

[Trying2live]

Ok update, yes all is going as planned per the book(Surviving An Affair by Willard Harley) sorry put that in case someone pops on and is like what book. Meeting all of his highest emotional needs from the questionnaire i took at the back of the book.

But what I like everyone to remember is that i had almost no contact with H for many many months. This was the only way I knew and felt for myself, to be able to pull back and disengage and reduce the negative emotions between us.
If those negative emotions were not reduced there is no way I could have gotten to how it is today. Now I am still fully aware that it can go either way, so I am not fooling myself. But now we have a flirty friendship going, ok girls I am letting you in(H cheated on OW-ask me how I know-ok cuz it was me ha ha ha ha ha). The way I see it, is he is married to me and I am fully married to him. But yet I am still aware it can still go either way, but as bad as it sounds I'm like ha! He cheated on you how ya like them apples.
Now I do not recommend this or endorse it per say. I just told him point blank, I have needs. he asked how I'll deal with it afterward and boldly and confidently I said I'll be fine I'll boot you out when I'm done and he smiled. ya see I know that sounds really yucky but for me yes i do have needs(6 months mean anything LOL) but sexually I was the more timid one in the relationship, I never denied but hardly initiated so this is my 180 and I pursued and flirted with him for over 2 weeks now, so he caved. Yes I am fully aware he still can choose not to come home. And I went into understanding and telling myself this is not sex with my H it's with a wayward and I didn't allow myself to get emotionally attached. Now this could have never happened until now, because negative emotions are reduced-remember I had hardly no contact for 5 months, i do not talk about the relationship or the OW at all because it's not confident, I GAL and I think he's surprised because I'm still taking salsa lessons, and implemented the surviving an affair plan. Now this is just what I did. You all have to follow your heart.

Now hope if H has a high admiration need then by all means have him come change that darn battery and give him lots of admiration on how stinking well he took that battery out and saved your life because poor lil old you haven't gotten any sleep, your my hero! LOLOLOL get it> But that only works on the guys with that as the top need. Personally I dont care if you've finished the book, go today and dot the test very honestly as if it was him answering and start implementing those top 5 then keep reading the book. Its really important as the book says to start filling H love bank asap and you can't do that if you don't know what the top 5 needs are, then DO NOT commit any love busters, so be sure to read that part.

I really wish you could create some heat at work by exposure. IT would make things deteriorate faster. Had you thought if he is draining all your money and you may have nothing left and a pile of debt anyways maybe work exposure isn't going to be any worse? With all the co-workers frowning upon them it's sure to dampen the fantasy big time!

But I really want you to read the love buster chapter, its hard ,but its good because i had to find out where i may have fell short in the marriage(no it does not make it acceptable) and helped create a possible atmosphere for the A. Then concentrate on not committing the Love busters.

I'm glad exposure is going to work with SIL. good move, break that bubble they live in and bring them to reality. Reality has not hit yet.
More in a bit gotta do more chores.....