As much as it hurts he may well think it is over *at that/this time* but honestly, I still think he is very confused. I am under no illusions in my sitch that h has said that to me and thinks it, in fact me showing him I accept that has been key in my sitch to starting dialogue again. Jody actually said to me to show that I understood and took on board that h was saying it was over and that stops negative thoughts on his part as you are not battling him.
Ok, so if he doesn't honour your IM boundaries you need to reinforce them. If he reaches out just say something like
'hey, i'm really busy with work at the moment but we can discuss that at ... hope you are having a good day (to close it down)'
I'm not surprised that you reacted, it was poor timing on his part and late at night is NEVER a good time to talk. Just again say to him something like
'I'm sorry you feel that way, I'd like to hear more about it. Let's get some sleep and we can discuss it in the morning/ lunchtime etc etc' Chances are it probably won't come up again.
All these times you choose to engage him - you have control over this.
Quote:
So I think today we can avoid the conversation, and then if I am not here for the next 2 days, and if he honors my IM policy, we should be fine until at least Saturday, as I plan to go out late Friday night.
Look at it this way, there will be no r talks until Sat because you will not engage him in them. Remember you have control, avoidance is good but you need to find the strength to reinforce the boundaries you set, as you would a child in a way.
And BTW there are LOADS of positives - go back and read your threads
Sorry I hope I am not being too harsh I understand how rubbish it must all be at the moment x
