Back to life, back to reality?

[istherehope]

Hi Ali,

Thanks. In fact I asked last night if there is anyone else that he had feelings for, who gave him the feelings he didn't have with me, and he was resolute that there isn't. I do believe him, as since he wants to push me away so badly, I think he would tell me in an instant.

He now says that ML with me doesn't feel right anymore, so not sure if this will even be happening...

H hates Ireland, and feels really unhappy here. Too bad he can't see that this might be contributing to his unhappiness in general. I think this is the reason for the US thing. We'd originally talked about Portugal, but he says I probably couldn't find a job there, so that wouldn't work.

I will definitely not be saying anything else to H. I already made it clear that I don't want to talk tonight. I haven't told him that I am going to my friend's house tomorrow. I'd rather just leave early tomorrow and leave a note. Tonight I am going to plan to be out at around the time he gets home too. I may leave some dinner lying around, but with no note saying where I am or anything.

It just kills me that H thinks the only thing he is unhappy about is our marriage. We haven't even BEEN in a marriage for 3 months now. I even mentioned him not wearing the ring last night, and he said something so horrible to me like that should "give me a clue" about things.

I just really don't know now. I mean I know that the 2 weeks thing can still happen even if he doesn't want it to because he'd agreed and suggested it, but beyond that am not sure. I'm so frustrated because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if he weren't actively pushing me away, we could have fun together. Now he won't even say that we can be friends. I truly don't know how one person can turn like this. It is mindblowing,

ITH