Back to life, back to reality?

[AliSuddenly]

Hey ITH,

I'm so sorry. Like I said, I see similiarities with my ex's behaviour.. how it didnt add up... and I wish I had twigged sooner that he had an ow in the back of his mind (although it was a year before they got together). The fact that your H is resolutely sticking to this, but that he does ML to you and enjoy your company.. makes me wonder quite honestly if there isnt someone in the background thats giving him the strength to stick to his plan and go through with this.

You did say that he was emailing someone who was 25??

I think you should definetly leave for a couple of days, he has said his peace and is in 'breaking away' mode right now.. looking at the sitches on this board, that doesnt mean it has to be over for good.. but all your efforts, IM's, emails and understanding have made no difference, he's like a speeding train right now.

It IS wierd abut the US thing.. again, does he feel it couild only work if he is far away from an OW where you are currently living, like for himself he feels he needs to make a fresh start?? I dont suggest you ask him, but then, I personally wish I had known sooner that there was an ow, as I wouldnt have gone through 10 agonising months of wondering what on earth I had done wrong and why he wastn working on the R.

I wouldnt say anymore right now, and I would go stay at your friends, but be open to talking, if he wants to when you get back on Friday. I also wouldnt think about work changes right now, you've had enough change and shock.. even take a few days off if you can, or just keep your head down. Decisions like that can come much later on. Everyone nagged me to make decisions about my house, my college, work, everything when he first left, but I knew I would need at least 6 mnths before I even begun to look at my options, neverlone make decisions, and this how it worked out in the end.

THinking of you ITH and I'm so sorry you are in this horrible place, I know how it feels,
Ali xxx