BND - I have heard those words before and that is part of my past that I lost when I was 10. I lost my hearing and although they repaired some of it...they were not able to repair the part the hears the tone of the voice. It brings tears to my eyes that I have hurt so many people and have offended so many people of the years. It is not what I want to do. It is hard to change - it's only been 4 weeks since I could hear the difference. I do appreciate you pointing it out to me. Fortunately, I have enough people in my life who love me and accept me the way that I am that it didn't affect me too badly. I know that it did cost me some relationships over the years. I apologized and apologized to my husband for my short comings and that is what it was and is. I apologized to my dad, by brothers and their wives and my daughters and my step son. The women understood, the men, well my dad just wants to know what he could have done differently all these years to help me. When you don't understand what the mistake is that you are making you can't help people understand how to help you.
BND - if I hadn't heard the difference in the tone four weeks ago I wouldn't have understood what you were trying to say to me. I'm sorry - I will work on it but I know that it will take a long time - probably years - to correct the writing, the thinking, and the tone of everything that I do. But I want to try. Amazingly it is my husband who - even though he is in MLC - is the one who is being most patient with me on this. He can tell I'm trying and that there is a difference. It is a very humbling experience. The only person that I will never be able to make it up to is my mom. I regret all of those times that I was nasty to her because I just didn't know.
All - I have just spent time reading a lot of posts here for the last several days. I am truly sorry that I ever complained here on this site about my life. I have nothing to complain about compared to what most of you are going through. I apologize for even mentioning what is happening in my life.
I hope and pray that everyone gets in life the desires of their heart. May God bless you all.
