God grant me the patience and the strength...8

[theotherhalf]

He will avoid you, or be nasty

By venting to him. Telling him how angry I am and why. And asking why don't you see or care? ... your right, that is exactly how he is.

But these two times I just sent the TM saying that I hate him...and when he asked what and why I said doesn't matter. He didn't avoid me, it was the opposite, he called or came out. He wasn't mean or nasty, the opposite he was nice.

I am so really confused.

I don't know where to look for new friends. I live in a rural community and know most of the people around. I have lived here for 25 yrs. I like being home, just not alone. There's no point in going out anymore because I just get to watch everyone else drink and have fun. (I can't drink because of the legal stuff) And it takes money to do most things, and we have NONE. So yea, I'm pretty much stuck. So instead I am busying myself here at home. And going to church. If I could only get in to painting again. They are out sitting on my table. I just can't bring myself to start. I think I think of doing it every day, just can not get there.

WHO CARES what he thinks, or what he notices. This isn't for him.

Your right and I am pretty close to getting there.

filing

I just can't...

thanks lwb