Mixed Signals or Just My Imagination ?

[native]

I am under a great deal of stress right now. I have gone back and forth between anger, regret, compassion, feeling sorry for W and back to anger again.

But I keep the anger in check around her. Early on, when the crap hit the fan, our counselor told me that I had to stop reacting to her. I took that to heart and it has been difficult to control myself in the face of what seems to be irrational and dangerous behaviour, but it has gotten easier.

It is almost as if I am able to step back now and just watch the tragedy unfold with W. It is like watching a crash in slow motion.

But it doesn't seem to matter how far back I step, I end up being the one to blame.

It seems that no matter what I do, I will be the enemy in her mind.

Tonight she accused me of trying to control her because I am not ready to put our house up on the market at a price that will loose $35K in equity and leave us with 40K in credit card debt to split.

Just so she can be financially free.

And frankly, she just signed a lease and moved in (her b paid deposit and 1st mo. rent) without any means of paying the monthly rent, because she heard what she wanted to hear, and did not read or understand the signifigance of the financial info I sent her, so she's freaking out.

Even if I gave her the $600/mo. she thinks she should get (which I might, if I can), she would barely be able to pay her rent on this place she just got. Much less utilities and food.

But it is just one more example of her poorly thought-out, emotionally reactive choices that have caused us to have to make drastic choices in the past.

I for one am looking forward to being off the roller coaster with her, but I dont want to be saddled with debt that we may be able to wipe away by the sale of our house if we just have a little patience.

I would even be willing to help her out with her rent, because fortunatly I have a good amount of work for the forseable future, but she keeps ratcheting up the emotion and the accusation and the generally bad decision making. So, what do I do ? Give her enough rope to hang herself ?