Hey JGrind, get tough with the finances. DO NOT feel sorry for H because of possible shaky job and not having enough to live on. This was THEIR choice not ours. I told my H if you want to live then this is what you owe. I am sure he agreed by guilt and I am sure ow will advice him that he is giving me too much -- but right now I am holding the "ACE Card", if H tries to screw me out of finances then I will turn him in for dating his direct report. I don't get mad I get even. This was his choice and he picked the worst economy to pull out of our marriage.

H keeps saying he wants me to be fair. Well was he fair when he cheated on us? I know we had problems but to refuse to work on your marriage after 21 years then I have to get tough.

I have been trying to save my tears for when I am alone. One day at a time.

Me 53
H 50
D16, D29
M 22 years
bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H
8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also
bomb II - H moves 10/1
expose ow 10/22
D to be final 9-09