I am sure JA will get a house as he and ow seem to get almost everything they want.
I am the opposite of them lately in that department.
We got an offer on our house today. Someone is seriously interested but their offer was too low. We went back with a counter offer so we'll see what happens.
Everyone in real life keeps saying how I must be happy that it sold so quickly. Oh yeah, I am just jumping for joy. I just kind of nod at them but inside I am screaming that I don't want to let go of the house.
If this buyer comes back with a good counter offer they want to be in ASAP. Which means I probably will have to move before Christmas. Not something I wanted to do.
I just feel like everything is slipping away from me. How much more do I have to lose?
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Mrs. H, I'm very sorry to hear that you had an offer so soon in today's market. I understand how you feel, i.e., as if everything is slipping away and you have no control over anything. It's difficult to see everything disappearing around you. I just don't understand the comment that the person made about your being happy the house had an offer so soon. That was very hurtful to you, since the person may not have had any idea what has been transpiring in your life the last couple of years.
If the offer is accepted, you certainly don't have much time to get packed and relocated before Christmas. I'm very, very sorry that this has happened.
I do hope that today will be a better one for you. Please do not allow JA to bait you today. You need some down time to yourself to think about what you need to do next.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Everything feels like it is slipping away from me too fast.
This morning I had a dream (or should I say nightmare?) that the ow and JA brought a house together and were closing on it in 2 weeks, right after they get back from their honeymoon.
In the dream, everytime I heard the news I would run to go get a cigarette and some weed and smoke it. I don't smoke!!! I think it's my minds way of telling me that I need to find a way to relieve all this anxiety that is building up inside me.
Quote:
I just don't understand the comment that the person made about your being happy the house had an offer so soon. That was very hurtful to you, since the person may not have had any idea what has been transpiring in your life the last couple of years.
It's not just one person, it's many people. These same people are usually the same people that say that I must be happy that were finally divorced, etc. Obviously most of them never walked a step in my shoes.
I really don't want to move before Christmas. I was hoping to have at least one more Christmas here.
The people that are interested in buying the house want in ASAP and if they give us the offer we want I can't exactly go and tell them they have to wait to the new year to move in and then chance losing the deal.
Sometimes I feel that God has a personal vendetta against me.
Mrs. H, God does not have a personal vendetta against you. I do believe he has a plan for you and your family, but it's one that won't be revealed to you for quite some time. We question his work all of the time, especially when something bad comes upon us. There are lessons to be learned and I think some of them are as follows:
1. we must learn that we cannot rely on another person for our happiness. 2. happiness comes from within and we need to find that special happiness deeper from within. 3. we have to be independent, despite the two being merged together in marriage. 4. we need to learn that we are stronger than we think and no matter what we are dealt with, we will find a way to survive. 5. look around....we are all truly blessed with a wealth that is not measured by monetary gains...we have our health, family, friends, co-workers to support us. This is the richest part of our lives and do our spouses have this? Can they say the same? 6. we have our self-respect and a good sense of worth. 7. we will survive...stronger, wiser and more independent.
I know that this isn't what you wanted to hear today, but you are an extremely good person and I don't want you to ever think that God has foresaken you, for he hasn't.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
MrsH, I am sorry to hear about the offer...however, if they take your counter offer you can have your realtor tell them you can not move until January...it is not conducive for you to have to pack, move, go to school, get the boys to school etc...and try to move. That can be written into the purchase and sale agreement. If JA gives you trouble then tell him to pack and move you himself!!!
If they don't take the deal, then you stay in the house longer until the next buyer comes along. Houses are priced so low and there are a million for sale right now...these interested buyers may find something else for lower the price.
I hated when I had those dreams!! You are right, your mind is telling you to release the anxiety!! Go for a walk or start raking all the fall leaves...or drink wine!!
I know I keep saying whatever happens, happens for a reason and you will be ok...but I really believe that!! You are going to be far better off than JA any day of the week! Why? You are a good person, you care about others, you are a great mom and your boys love you dearly.
I'm sorry to hear about the offer on your house, Mrs. H. Don't let your STBX railroad you into accepting any terms you don't like. Maybe you can leverage him paying for a packing company to help you move out?
We got another offer on the house from the same person and we counter offered and they will probably meet us half way.
They want to move in around the holidays.
Which means I have to move during the holidays.
Like I am not depressed enough.
JA and I were also fighting over the price to counter offer.
He wanted to low ball it and I refused.
He said well I want it sold so we are going with my price.
I told him that he couldn't make me take an offer that was not within 5 percent of the sale price.
He asked me where I got that info from.
I told him it was in the divorce decree.
He said "Well that's BS and I will take you back to court to have the judge change that."
I said "it is what it is, you can't make her change it."
JA: Well I need that house sold pronto because I need the money because I am paying you $XXXX a month and I don't have enough money for me to get by.
Me: Well that's not exactly my problem is it. This is what divorce is, what did you think it was?
JA: Not like it is. I thought it was going to be where we split everything 50/50 and I wouldn't have to pay you all this maintence. But you had to go and get a money hungry lawyer to take all my money.
Me: You were warned by many people including me what was going to happen if you didn't work your marriage out and opted for divorce. I am not going to take a low ball offer so you and your wh*re can go out and get a house. And speaking of your wh*re, keep her out of the bed with our children.
JA: What does that have to do with anything?
Me: It has to do with a lot. When we brought these children into the world we had the same morals and values and now your morals and values went right out the window. And also don't tell me that you and your wh*re aren't going to get married either.
JA: What difference does it make to you what I do with my life, you hate my guts.
Me: I never said I hated your guts and I don't treat you like I hate you either. I just don't respect the person you have become.
JA: Well lets get back on topic here...
It went on and on and he said how he was going to call up the realtor and tell her his counter offer.
So I called up the realtor to let her know my counter offer and told her how he can't make me take his because it's out of the 5 percent range.
She thought my counter offer was good.
She told me that the people who want to buy want to be in ASAP.
I said to her "Well can't we wait until after the holidays?"
She recommended we don't as these people are getting a 100 percent financing from the only bank willing to still do it in today's economy. She said if we wait a couple of months then they may not be able to get the same deal and we will lose the sale.
Life just sucks. I hate it.
And please no 2x4's. I don't need it. I think JA needs to hear exactly what I think of him. It can't do any harm in trying to save our M. We are pretty much divorced. He has been gone for 2 1/2 years now. I am tired of keeping my mouth shut.
Also I was on the phone all night taking to my family trying to calm down a bit. He kept beeping in but I wouldn't pick up. I was upset enough as it was.
He then left me a VM on my cell saying "I want to talk to the boys, have them call me TONIGHT!"
