Is she is or is she ain't (my baby)?

[sleeper]

X called today and left a message. She wanted me to bring the kids by her work so she could see them. I did. It was right after work and I looked exceptionally hot if I do (and I do) say so myself. One of X's clients mentioned I was dressed in Bono's style.

When I was near X she made direct eye contact with me for an extended period of time (nothing being said). I maintained eye contact with her. We were literally staring into each other's souls. I could feel it and I hope she could too. That was something new and very frustrating.

One day I'm just going to take her into my arms and kiss her. Maybe that's what she is waiting for.

[sleeper]

Today was kinda weird. It's been so weird for so long I have trouble recognizing what is weird and what isn't.

All four of us had lunch together at X's invitation. We discussed Halloween costumes as as X still holds a kid party for Halloween at what used to be our home. It was a tradition that began long before we split up and continued last year.

One possibility was that the four of us dress in costumes as a family. DOH!

Then we somehow got on the subject of past family vacations. X was surprised that five years has passed since the last time we went to one special place. She said "we" need to go back there again and began to figure how much it would cost.

Scotty I need transporter, Now!

[forward]

Sleeper, Your situation has got to be one of the strangest on the board. I think I would continue to hold back a bit if I were you....

[kml]

Today was kinda weird. It's been so weird for so long I have trouble recognizing what is weird and what isn't.

LOL!!!!! Sleeper, I haven't been following your sitch, but I can relate to that quote!

(Love the Dune quotes too, btw ..... if my husband ever leaves me again, I'm definitely looking for a sci-fi-reading guy the next time around!)

I think it's got to be a very positive thing that family costumes were considered and that family vacation is being discussed. And even better that you were dressed like Bono and another woman noted it in front of your wife. Get them thinking .... "hmmmm....other women find my ex attractive.....I could lose him......."

Ellie

[TRUSTING]

She is acting so very married and attached to you.

Enjoy it.....

but I also think you need to back away a little bit now.

Eventually she has to make a choice......

for your sake she has to make a choice....

you have been more than accomadating....

I think she needs a bit of a challenge

by the way, I love bono

[sleeper]

So today she didn't call about church. I found out at kidswap she went to church (she asked me) and we were there at the same service. I'm thinking she went with OM but she didn't say and I didn't ask.

She looked tired and I mentioned it to her. Could be mlc or just out late partying. She asked me to do a couple of things at the house. I did. She also asked what needed to be done for the heat at the house and business to operate.

I checked the garden she and the kids planted to see how it was doing and picked a lone ripe cucumber. When she saw it she asked, "Can I have your cucumber? I'm making a salad for dinner." I smiled and said, "Of course you can, and I'm going to go home and write in my diary that you asked for my cucumber today. I knew one day you would." She started smiling/blushing a bit before I could finish the statement as she realized what she had said and how I would react the moment she asked.

She gave me a bottle of lotion of which she said she didn't like the smell. I asked if she was trying to give me some kind of chick repellant.

I was also thinking pulling back would be a good thing. We are now getting along better than we have in the past two years. She needs to miss that a little to appreciate it and not get too comfortable with our present sitch.

On the other hand this was in my fortune cookie at lunch today:

"Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return."

Damn fortune cookie.

[Gman3388]

On the other hand this was in my fortune cookie at lunch today:

"Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return."

Damn fortune cookie.

I still like mine that I want someone to open:
"That wasn't chicken"


Our stitches sound familiar Sleeper.
Kinda odd how they waffle like this....

[forward]

Sleeper, Notice that we are all saying here to back off, though.

See if she flirts with YOU.

[sleeper]

Thanks Breton, I will.

I've stopped initiating contact. We do have contact because of kids or if she contacts me. I don't always answer phone or return calls. I've noticed she rarely leaves a message. Can't help but wonder if the purpose of the call was actual contact with me rather than information exchange.

I picked up kids from school today because of after school activities. When I took kids to her a little while ago OM was there, the table was set for four. I had to talk over some things about the kids with X. The three of us were in the kitchen and he was standing there like preverbially useless...... You get the picture. At one point while X and I were discussing kids he may have sensed it as he left the room.

Sometimes I'm torn between increasing contact when he is around to reduce his comfort level (I obviously affect it and have been told so by X and others) and being less available to X. Maybe I should try to do both. I have no reason to have contact with her again until Friday and will avoid direct contact with her until then.

More relationship doublespeak today. X was talking about "us" taking out a loan. Our financial separation is still not complete although her L has everything he needs and the ball is in her court. I am tempted to push for finanlization. I don't know if she is afraid to let go completely (it's the only thing she has left to hold over my head) or she is having second thoughts about cutting all ties. The shakey economy may be playing a role as my job is recession proof and hers is the opposite.

I believe X's case of mlc was extremely severe. Anger stage lasted a long time (and really hurt) followed by lots of cycling. I believe she is just now reaching the point where she is major cake-eating, getting some of her needs met by both me and OM; I'm the "family" guy, he's the "fun" guy.

Or is he the "fungi"?

[forward]

Probably the fungi by now, based on what you say she has said about him.

He has lost his allure.

I would just act as if OM is not in the picture. Don't do anything to increase his discomfort--just don't really acknolwedge him.