My 'h' and I have been divorced for a year. We were married for five years. He left two years ago last August. He called me at work to tell me that he packed his bags, moved out, and wanted a divorce. After that, he didn't talk to me until this past March. The silence was torcher.
The heartache isn't any better since we have started talking again. It is just different. My DB counselor and I have discussed how my 'not initiating' or 'pursuing' a call or email, every so often, would possibily alter his thinking and behavior. We haven't spoken for over 2-1/2 weeks. My confidence goes down after a week of not talking. Then, I eat. I have gained 15 lbs. since our divorce.
He looked for me within the first trial run. I was excited. This time around, he is taking longer. 'Acting as if' stinks. I'd like to tell him so much . . . but I don't. The roller coaster ride with my hopes is tiring. Noone seems to understand why I am standing firm and 'waiting'. I think I would have gone crazy without my DB counselor. She is wonderful.
