Wish I could read her mind (7)>>>>

[Bworl]

....it really is time to try to progress things in another direction and see what that brings to the sitch.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
(Ancient words of wisdom)

Alright, I'll admit that I may be focusing on a single phrase and perhaps taking it a bit out of context, but humor me.

Given that your situation is rather unique on this board in that you and your wife have all the appearances of a fairly good, interactive relationship, I am certain that you have goals in mind for the relationship between your wife and you.

I am also completely certain that your main goal is for her to pronounce to you at some point that she has seen and believes in your changes and no longer desires for the two of you to part.

I believe it's coming. In time. Though I know you worry over this.

But what about goals along the way? Things that you wanted/hoped to see begin to happen that might indicate that perhaps the tide was beginning to turn in your favor?

I only ask because with the comment above, you seem to be suggesting the need for some changes, presumably to see some positive developments in your situation.

You know me Tim. I see positives galore.

Perhaps not the ONE you want the most, but lots of positives all the same. She has clearly softened towards you, even in a sitch where she has always been more loving towards you than most potential walk away spouses.

Now...if you are simply indicating your ever present need to get more normalcy in your life together, then I understand and retract my concerns. But if you are suggesting that you're NOT seeing results with your current approach, I humbly disagree.

You yourself have told us that the social activities are normal for you and your wife, though perhaps the frequency is a bit higher than normal. Keep in mind that your wife, I believe, is enjoying a renaissance of sorts in her life with you. Many of these things that you are now enjoying have been denied to her for some time prior to the most recent bomb. Or, if they were present, they came with recriminations that made them less than enjoyable.

Things are proceeding very nicely in my opinion.

Don't create trouble for yourself.

Though I would hate for you to become lazy and presumptious, my advice to you would be to REST. And to ENJOY. Embrace the moments you have together and be less critical about the specifics. Look to what is important. How does she respond to you? Is she relaxed, comfortable, at peace with herself in these moments? If the answer to these questions is yes, then I think you're right where you need to be.

As I see your sitch, you are wearing her resistance down with the honesty of your changes and the commitment of your devotion to her. As time goes on, each day is evidence to her that what she sees in front of her is real, that the man in front of her that seems to be too good to be true is, in fact, true and all hers.

Have confidence in you. And have confidence in her and the love the two of you have.


Blessings,

Bill